Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter
Carrie discusses manly measurements
I read an article yesterday about history’s most notoriously well-endowed men. (Don’t ask me where I find my reading material. But if you were to Venn diagram my interest in history and my interest in penises, you’d find an impressively large overlap in the sets.)
Do yourself a favor and check out Jezebel’s article, which features everyone from Milton Berle to Rasputin to Tommy Lee to Jay-Z to Dan Rather. Yep, that Dan Rather. (Time to update my Venn diagram to include an aging news anchor set.)
The whole voyeuristic exercise got me thinking – does size really matter?
Lots of women will tell you it doesn’t. That it’s “the motion of the ocean, not the size of the ship.” Those women are liars. I say that respectfully. And pityingly.
After years of dating, I feel I can speak with authority on this topic. I’m not saying I always use the equipment, but I definitely check out the merchandise. And I’m especially skilled at getting my girlfriends to report back with detailed measurements.
I am very sorry to say this to all the shortstacks out there, but size definitely matters. I’m not saying which size (cough, cough), but big or small – it’s going to have an enormous impact on your enjoyment of the experience. I’ve spent some miserable time on both ends of the spectrum, and let me tell ya sisters, it ain’t pretty either way.
I do believe that with this particular dessert item, you can definitely have too much of a good thing. Or too little of a ridiculously unattractive thing. Bigger isn’t always better, but smaller isn’t always spectacular either. I guess this Goldilocks prefers her packages just right.
But what exactly is “just right?”
According to the official “Authentic Women’s Penis Size Preference Size” chart – I seriously wish I had the imagination to make that one up – women’s ideal penis size ranges from 7 ¼ inches to 8 ¼ inches. Women are far stricter with ideal girth measurement, voting for an ideal penis circumference in the narrow window of 6 ¼ inches to 6 ½ inches.
Check out the chart for yourself, then see how your man measures up. (Oh come on, you know you’re going to!)
I’d love to hear back from you – do you think size matters? What’s your most memorable size-sational moment?
Read Carrie’s last blog post: UPDATE! Holiday Date