Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter

Carrie Seim discusses manly measurements.

Betty Blog

Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter

Carrie discusses manly measurements

-Carrie Seim

a woman holding a measuring tapeI read an article yesterday about history’s most notoriously well-endowed men. (Don’t ask me where I find my reading material. But if you were to Venn diagram my interest in history and my interest in penises, you’d find an impressively large overlap in the sets.)

Do yourself a favor and check out Jezebel’s article, which features everyone from Milton Berle to Rasputin to Tommy Lee to Jay-Z to Dan Rather. Yep, that Dan Rather. (Time to update my Venn diagram to include an aging news anchor set.)

The whole voyeuristic exercise got me thinking – does size really matter?

Lots of women will tell you it doesn’t. That it’s “the motion of the ocean, not the size of the ship.” Those women are liars. I say that respectfully. And pityingly.

After years of dating, I feel I can speak with authority on this topic. I’m not saying I always use the equipment, but I definitely check out the merchandise. And I’m especially skilled at getting my girlfriends to report back with detailed measurements.

I am very sorry to say this to all the shortstacks out there, but size definitely matters. I’m not saying which size (cough, cough), but big or small – it’s going to have an enormous impact on your enjoyment of the experience. I’ve spent some miserable time on both ends of the spectrum, and let me tell ya sisters, it ain’t pretty either way.

I do believe that with this particular dessert item, you can definitely have too much of a good thing. Or too little of a ridiculously unattractive thing. Bigger isn’t always better, but smaller isn’t always spectacular either. I guess this Goldilocks prefers her packages just right.

But what exactly is “just right?”

According to the official “Authentic Women’s Penis Size Preference Size” chart – I seriously wish I had the imagination to make that one up – women’s ideal penis size ranges from 7 ¼ inches to 8 ¼ inches. Women are far stricter with ideal girth measurement, voting for an ideal penis circumference in the narrow window of 6 ¼ inches to 6 ½ inches.

Check out the chart for yourself, then see how your man measures up. (Oh come on, you know you’re going to!)

I’d love to hear back from you – do you think size matters? What’s your most memorable size-sational moment?

Read Carrie’s last blog post: UPDATE! Holiday Date

Read Carrie’s full blog here

Read more about love and sex: Hot and Heavy: Why Bigger Guys Are Better and What He Sees: An Intimate Tour of Yourself


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11 thoughts on “Sorry Guys, Size Does Matter

  1. curious_missy says:

    Yep, it matters. Mostly when it’s so big that it goes from pleasing to hurting.

  2. Rei says:

    Small penises aren’t so bad as long as ya aren’t gapped, but big is better! Not too big mind you.

  3. Athirson says:

    And why exactly is it always the guy’s fault for being the wrong size?

  4. Carolyn88 says:

    Not like LOVE isn’t more important or anything …

  5. carobabbo says:

    Ladies, know thyself! I have had four loves of my life. I am slightly below optimal size. One person was small, and I was large. Another was petite, but had a large vagina. A third was a great fit; a fourth was so long ago that I cannot remember. If you have a deep “self” foreplay means a great deal, regardless of size; if you have a small “self” work out a way to avoid
    pain; if you are just right, it does not mean emotionally you are just right. Just a guys point de vue.

  6. sassygrandma says:

    I am older and female. I was around during the 70′s free spirit movement when women found out they had sexual freedom and didn’t need to feel ashamed of it.

    The thrill of unhibited sex in an unexpected situation totally de-thrones the size angle. Like sneaking on an unknown person’s yacht at the docks and having a one night stand. It is so exciting you don’t think about size cause you are so turned on.

    But, in a long-term sexual relationship, size DEFINITELY matters. Girth takes feelings to whole new level. OHHHHHH, musing over a 30 year old memory!!!! Lead on girls.

  7. wootentacles1 says:

    IMHO, it matter, but bigger is not always better. I’ve always found that foreplay was more important to me than sex itself, but it is a tad disappointing when a man is on the small size. Then again, I don’t particularly like being stabbed over and over again with a giant meat sword, either.

  8. Tedebare says:

    VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE. I am by no means a prude nor do I advocate free sex everywhere. Close, very close and friends do matter. But as in men women are different not good or bad, but different. Men love the thought of a tight woman, but over the years I have learned that a larger woman is like a Cadillac built for pleasure and a nice long ride. The most important thing is does he take care you you and your needs one way or the other? That is love and what love is all about, caring for the person.

  9. Donald says:

    You have me worried here. Am I too small for my gf? 6.5 inches and 4.7 inch girth

    1. Kel says:

      Ask your girlfriend, 6.5 is average, not sure about 4.7" sounds a bit on the thinner side.

      1. Toru says:

        What are you talking about? 4.7 is average girth. 6.5 is bigger than average length.

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