Boob of the Week
Biggest Boob of the Week Goes to One of Our Own!
George Bush loses out, thanks to Bras of Torture
-April Daniels Hussar
Though it’s dangerous to get into political stuff in this column, someone nominated George Dubya for saying (after the Lehman bankruptcy, the AIG meltdown, and the overall financial sector turmoil) that not to worry, the US economy is “sound.” Sound of what? Of people’s stocks plummeting to “worthless”? Of foreclosure signs being hammered into front lawns?
But then we heard about Wendy Brown, the women who STOLE HER DAUGHTER’S IDENTITY SO SHE COULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD.
Yes. For reals.
Of course, after reading the whole article, I was all ohh that’s really sad. I mean that poor woman. She really needs help.
So, we decided in the end to give the award to none other than our very own Stephanie Elliot, Betty’s parenting editor and Manic Mommy advice columnist. Yes, this is one of those weeks when we start nominating OURSELVES (can I get a TGIF?). Midweek, Stephanie emailed to say she deserved this coveted prize “…for sitting here with half of the under wire hanging out of my bra cup. No lie.”
Yes! Ladies, listen up! We have all suffered in the grasp of BRAS OF TORTURE. And why?! Are we not important enough to warrant a trip to the mall to get some bras that don’t poke us in the ribs? Or look like they’ve been mauled by wild animals? Or have totally lost all their elastic? Stephanie’s email reminded me of a bra I had forever – and I mean forever – the under wire kept poking out and stabbing me, and did I throw it away and replace it? No! I just kept poking the evil sharp implement back in, again and again. WHY?
So, in the spirit of sisterhood, we award Boob of the Week to our dear Manic Mommy. We hope this encourages her – and you – and all of us – to just say NO to Bras of Torture! You, and your boobs, deserve more!