I’m Losing It
One woman’s crusade to shame commuters back into their bathrooms
The familiar clicking sound was what first got my attention. I looked up from my book, across the aisle, and there I saw it: a casually dressed middle-aged man busily clipping his toenails. During rush hour, on the subway.
What. The. Hell.
Several of my fellow commuters joined me in the staredown of horror, and though he noticed the group gaze, he did not stop. This man was on a mission. By the time he hit Eighth Avenue, he was going to have himself one nicely trimmed set of toenails. I tried to recall other instances of Inappropriate Subway Grooming so I could compare. Surely this was worse than the guy who brought his rechargeable razor onto the train and gave himself an on-the-go shave, or the woman I caught tweezing her eyebrows. The impromptu pedicure also trumped the myriad manicures I’ve ridden next to, but was definitely not half as nasty as the two zitty teenagers who took turns wiping Stridex pads across their greasy mugs and then gleefully comparing facial crud. This alone would’ve been gnarly enough to get them in the running, but that they then tossed the scuzzed-up pads onto the train’s floor made them the undisputed winners of the Inappropriate Subway Grooming Gross-Off – at least until I catch someone giving herself a Brazilian on the 4 train.