The Newlywed Life: Marriage Changed My Relationship with My Mom
This newlywed finds she’s finally on equal footing with her mother.
Last weekend I went to see my mom. The visit was mostly a wedding post-mortem – I needed to evaluate the gift situation (they were sent to my parent’s house), sort through the professional photos and figure out what in the heck I’m going to do with my gorgeous gown. As we opened Williams-Sonoma boxes and oohed and icked over the photos, I realized something: My marriage has changed my relationship with my mother.
Sure, I’m still her kid and she still finds the way to dig in with the critiques, but there has been a cosmic shift in the way we talk to each other since I said, “I do.” Now, my mom and I have always had this weird closeness (not Gilmore Girls close, but still wicked close). We’ve visited spas together and dished on unlikable family members, but we were never on equal footing until now. And I kind of really like having my mom treat me like I’m actually a person and not some amoeba who can’t make independent decisions. She is more open and frank about themes that were verboten pre Wedding March. For instance, when Husband and I started the house-hunt, my mom came clean about my parent’s process of buying their first home. She told me about the loan process and the selection of the place I grew up. And most shocking of all, she talked numbers. You see, my parents are of the school that finances are adult business and schoolwork is child business. So the fact that she is dishes with the figures means I’ve officially made the crossover.
She also explained the family planning and birthing plan that my parents discussed when they decided to have me and my awesome sister, without – can you believe it – pressuring me to stop the ticking clock.