The Newlywed Life: Too Soon for a Baby?
We’ve only been married for 6 weeks – but the baby pressure is already on full force.
In the first six weeks of our marriage, we have attended two one-year old birthday parties, one baby shower and a handful of “we’re pregnant” dinners out. And with each little announcement and every oooh over a onesie, we inevitably get the Q: “What’s up with you? When are you having a family?”
To which, I’d like to respond: “It’s none of your beeswax,” but my mother raised me better than that. So, I pretend I didn’t hear the question. Or I smile and reposition the focus to the questioner. (Best example of that technique was at my wedding reception when one of my mom’s friends dropped the F word. I simply asked her when her single daughter was getting married …)
The truth is we should be starting a family (I’m 33 and stats say that after 35 it is a darn struggle to get pregnant), but we’d like to revel in the newlywed bliss a little longer. And well, I don’t feel ready. In my mind my requirements for parenthood include owning a home, having lots of savings for education and not being embarrassed to walk out of the house looking like Kate Gosselin (translation: Having “mom” hair). And we are so not near any of those goals yet. Husband is on board with the house first plan, but he thinks the adaptation to mom hair is all in my head. He also thinks that the pressure cooker is all in my head. To which I say, ahem. Fact: My MD tells me the longer we wait, the worse my chances and the risks for the wee one. Fact: My mom and mother-in-law insist that being an old mommy isn’t fun for anyone. So we should just get on to the trying train, but then there’s the other reason I’m a little skittish about the whole F word — I’m, um, well, I’m not so sure I’d be a good mom.