Get Ready – “Real Housewives of New Jersey” Debuts Tuesday!
These sexy(?) Jersey girls might rock the house
“Happy wife, happy life.”
I don’t know about you, but that phrase has been playing on a loop in my brain ever since I saw the preview for Bravo’s latest domestic dramafest, The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Seriously, I wish I were married JUST SO I COULD SAY THAT TO MY HUSBAND AFTER SPENDING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON A T-SHIRT.
Sorry, babe. Happy wife, happy life.
It’s so grossly materialistic. It’s so willfully blithe. It’s so … ingenious?
The New Jersey housewives and their “bubbies” debut Tuesday night. They promise to bake up more wifely wickedness than the ladies of Orange County, New York and Atlanta combined.
Here are a few of the reasons I will be glued to my couch this Tuesday night. These housewives don’t just gild the lily, they dip it in tanning lotion, shove it in spandex and garnish it with fake nails. Brilliant!
– Two of the wives are sisters. Married to brothers. Throw in another sister-in-law and mafia murder connections? It’s Jane Austen meets Jersey Turnpike.
– On the premiere episode, housewife Teresa drops more than $120,000 on one furniture shopping spree. She pays in cash. With crisp $100 bills. Because, she says, “I hear the economy’s crashing.”
– There are references to phone sex, oral sex and regular old sex. All in the preview alone!
– According to the New York Post, housewife Danielle turns to the website http://www.wealthymen.com/ to find a phone sex friend-with-benefits. The site only allows men with incomes over $100,000 (they verify through tax statements) and women with dignity less than $normal (no need to verify that one).
– The references to breasts, boobies and “bubbies” are endless. Who needs class when you’ve got cleavage?
Happy wife, happy life indeed.
Do you watch the Real Housewives? Why do you love/hate it?