The Three Most Common Reasons Couples Fight

Experts share their tips on how to resolve those disagreements over sex, money and communication.
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According to Dr. Gannon, “Loving each other in the ways each partner wants to be loved” is the key to communicating effectively. She explains that some people need verbal reminders of their partners’ feelings, such as regular compliments or just simple “I love yous.” Others need more physical reminders — hugs and kisses show them how much their partners care. In any relationship, it’s important to identify what makes each partner feel loved and appreciated, and that they respond to each other’s needs.

However, for some couples, getting through communication issues may require more work. Rivkin says she looks at the issues surrounding a couple’s early arguments because even if the supposed cause is different, couples often have the same fight again and again. Her three-step First Argument Technique requires couples to “peel, reveal and heal” — to identify the deeper issues causing the argument as well as the hurt the argument causes you and share this information with your partner to help resolve the conflict and move forward.

Whatever you and your partner argue about, it’s important to remember that disagreements and fights happen in all relationships, but they don’t have to have devastating consequences. If you’re conscious of your needs and those of your partner, it will be much easier to avoid hurtful bickering and communicate effectively — and the experience may even bring the two of you closer together.

Tell us: What do you and your partner fight about?

Kathryn H. Cusimano is an assistant editor at BettyConfidential.

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6 thoughts on “The Three Most Common Reasons Couples Fight

  1. When you’re in a relationship with a person for so long, you get to be too comfortable. I think going out for a vacation just the two of you is a good way of spicing up your relationship.

  2. When you’re young money is the biggest argument starter. It just seems like the end of the world when you over extend yourself, which when you’re young you do. Not to mention you’re just starting out in your careers. As you get older, you learn how to pace your spending, you make more because you’re experts at what you do and most times you’re pursued by companies so you really don’t have to worry about looking for a job. The problem with getting older even though you’re wiser, health issues occur, lines on your face appear, and you find yourself competing in a different arena. Younger women go after your husband, your husband goes after younger women. If I had to choose between before and now, I’d still choose Now. I’m more confident in myself and I no longer have to worry about money, buying the big house, raising my children, staying up late at night worrying about my future. The biggest lesson I learned from life is it always works out somehow. All that worrying for nothing! A little change in attitude and all’s well again.

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