The Truth About Porn

Betty's Sexpert, Amber Madison, reveals the truth about porn and when it can be a cause for concern.
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Between the Sheets

The Truth About Porn

When is pornography cause for concern? How much is normal, and how much is … too much?

-Amber Madison, Betty’s Sexpert

A man watching porn on his computerYour man’s dirty movie habit may be hard for you to wrap your head around – does this mean he wishes you had triple Ds, lesbian tendencies, and a Brazilian? The idea of his pornography viewing may even upset you – here’s someone to whom you’re deeply committed looking at other women naked. Perhaps you think it’s hurting your relationship, your sex life, or that your guy may even be addicted. But before you go so far as to disconnect the cable, read this.

When someone enters a monogamous relationship they maintain the right to sleep with one person besides you: themselves. And for many guys who don’t have the most vivid imaginations, masturbation is a lot easier with something to look at, i.e. porn. But if you’re like many women, the thought of your guy watching it makes you squirm. Understandably, the idea of your guy getting aroused by – or possibly even fantasizing about having sex with – another woman, is upsetting. However, the majority of porn that guys watch is not women parading around naked, it’s men and women having sex (and if it makes you feel better, most porn stars aren’t exactly supermodels). Your guy isn’t necessarily being aroused by the woman herself, as much as he is being aroused by watching sex.

Chances are, you would be aroused by watching sex too. It’s not just a guy thing. Studies show that women get just as turned on watching pornography as men do. The only difference: they are less likely to admit it.


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0 thoughts on “The Truth About Porn

  1. hope_xo says:

    This is a great article, makes me not have to worry SO much :)

  2. lilshopper44 says:

    I don’t worry too much. My man may watch unrealistic porn, but I read romance novels with heroic figures he can’t compare too. An active libido is healthy

  3. ErinW says:

    lol shopper! To each their own, right? lol

  4. bryony1 says:

    that porn is just about men and women having sex is b.s. usually, it’s something done by one or more men TO a woman.
    and how about that money shot, huh, so necessary to pornography, where he (or they) ejaculate into the woman’s face? That’s not “sex” — that’s contempt. Wise up. Pornography demeans women, which is why guys watch it. In fantasy, they can see themselves doing to another woman what you’d never permit.

    And with the growing popularity of anal sex, everyone ought to stop and think a minute about Farah Fawcett. Anal cancer is almost exclusively caused by anal sex, which is what killed her. Is it worth the risk it to get it in the backside? If a guy wanted me to do that, I’d ask him if he was latently gay, or needed a tighter squeeze, in which he could buy an Autojack and adjust according to his fancy.

  5. girlfriend_2 says:

    I love 2 watch porn just as much as any man. Its more of a fantasy for me. But it turns me on. I used to think it demeans women. But just look at the things we all do behind closed doors. To please yourself and our partners. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was the one who had never given oral sex. Always saying you not gone put that in my mouth, you not gone 2 cum in my mouth, etc. But recently, I decided 2 give it a try, and realized that I liked it. And now Im giving my partner oral sex at least twice daily. It was the same for anal sex. I always thought that if a man wanted anal he was gay. But I have tried anal only a couple of times, but I plan on 2 keep trying. I am a big baby when it comes to pain, but its like loosing another virginity. It doesnt feel good at first, but I can see and feel an orgasm out of this world from anal sex. You never know what you like unless you give it a try. And my policy is,” I will try almost anything once”

  6. JerseyGirl says:

    Ladies, precede with caution. While dating a man, I saw porn as his screen saver, pics in his home and thousands of dollars worth of DVD’s. He didn’t want to remove any of it even though I asked him to. He didn’t want to have any level of intimacy unless porn was on at the same time. Soon after, I found out he was having relationships with men behind my back. In this case porn was an indicator of a lot of lying, a ton of skeletons in a closet and a sex addict. Thank the Lord it didn’t mean AIDS or STD’s. Whenever I see anyone with porn, I am going to think twice and three times and precede with caution and/or run in the other direction. Listen to your gut feeling.

  7. chke0507 says:

    First, I need to say that you people are being deceived by Satan to think that pornography is alright. Secondly, there is NEVER an excuse good enough to destroy a relationship because of this stuff nor is it alright to disregard someone elses feelings about it. My husband takes medications and so do I and he uses the excuse that he can’t get it up and that it helps him remember that he is a man. Thirdly, My husband has made it plain and clear that if I looked like one of those women (which I am small framed and light weight)that he would be more attracked to me. That is a line of BS. So, for someone to write that a man doesn’t want to have sex with one of them women is a bold face lie. This stuff along with other stuff has destroyed my marriage and home. He disregards any and all of my feelings about this stuff to point of making me want to throw up. He admits he is addicted to porn but does not acknowledge that he needs help. He also makes it clear that he does not care what I feel about it. So, finally, my opinion is that if a man or woman needs or wants to watch stuff like that, he or she needs to not have a partner at all.

  8. Wanda66 says:

    Okay, I have to say a couple things here.

    One. Just as the article mentions, rape scene stuff and kiddie porn stuff is just plain bad stuff. Other than that, pornography is what you make of it. Watch what you like, be it hardcore or a pg rated romantic love story. They both have redeeming qualities. Just like anything, vote with your dollars. Buy USA. Buy natural. Buy erotic stuff that fits with your idea of morality.

    Two. If you actually believe anal sex causes cancer, the American education system and your parents have sorely let you down. Try reading up on cancer instead of reading about porn. Even if it is just an article discussing the subject, you chose to read about it. I suspect someone has some dirty little secret they’re not sharing.

    Three. The idea that we are being misled by satan is a copout. Anything that two consenting adults agree to enjoy is perfectly fine, porn or not. It sounds like your man is not turned on by you. Not because you are of slight stature, but because you’re lacking in some other area(s). Had you a decent level of communication, you could talk it through and solve the problem. It is useless to be accusatory, it just causes a person to be defensive and distant. The old adage “once bit, twice shy” comes to mind. Instead, try accepting your man and encouraging him. Let me tell you, because I know, nothing gets a man’s attention like oral sex. Medications won’t keep him down if you give him a little head. It can rekindle a good relationship. You’re willig to work for your relationship in other ways, hmm? Why not this way? Listen to the words of a middle aged Christian lady who has seen some things. Good luck ladies.

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