ASK REAL GUYS
The Boy Next Door
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I just ended a long-term relationship, as I found out my boyfriend was a “medically classified” sex addict. I’m truly shocked and I did NOT see this coming. Things were lacking in the bedroom, but I thought it was due to his age and his two and a half packs-a-day smoking habit. Little did I know he was simply too worn out by the time he came home from work. Well I managed to put it behind me, and am wondering about this new world of dating, which I left in the ‘80s. I seemed to mostly be approached by men 16 years my junior. I tried it, but it feels a bit uncomfortable.
I have a nice neighbor, and although he’s 20 years younger he is quite an old soul, much wiser than any man I have met. We have a lot in common, and we talk frequently late into the night about life matters. How should I approach the subject of possibly being more than friends?
I want to know if he’s interested in me, in that way. I know he ended a long-term relationship of his own because his partner felt he was too preoccupied with work. Thanks for your suggestions!
Steven: If you want to approach your neighbor, do so by being upfront about what you want and your intentions … however you should also be prepared if he is not interested. Keep in mind that he is your neighbor. Will you feel awkward, embarrassed, and/or uncomfortable? Maybe an intermediate step could be to keep spending time with him and look for indicators of interest while you give him some indicators of interest. One thing though, you might want to ask yourself is this really what you want?
Sometimes our desires for quick satisfaction can become a dangerous slippery slope that leads us into a difficult and undesirable long term situation that we find hard to get out of. In your heart you know what is best for you.