ASK REAL GUYS
The Negativity is Getting to Me
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My guy and I have been together for two years now, and we have a gorgeous baby daughter and a business together. We both work day-jobs to help fund the business, so we’re pretty much always on the go.
The problem? Other than a few details, my man is an emotional carbon copy of my father. He’s a black hole of negativity. He can find the cloud to every silver lining, and no detail is too small to escape his hyper-critical eye. I don’t have the spine to stand up to him, yet I’m terrified that his negativity will adversely affect our child. I listen to people complain all day at my day job, then I deal with people both cool and not-so-cool at our store, and THEN I have to listen to Mr. Negative. I’m sure he says good things, but they get drowned out in the constant barrage of criticism.
He doesn’t like women, and he has expressed both envy of women’s breasts and multiple orgasms and a desire to punch women who look at him in a way that displeases him. I’m well-aware that he has MASSIVE issues. The question is, do I issue him an ultimatum, do I grin and bear it for life, or do I leave him and talk about visitation?
Matt: Try to talk to him in a comfortable and safe environment. Bring it up in a non-confrontational, relaxed way and tell him how things would be easier on US if WE (not just him) tried to remain positive and not be too critical of the little things. Tell him how you both have many stresses in your lives and that things would be easier and smoother if you both tried to have positive attitudes about the little things. There’s no reason you should have to live around someone who is contently negative and is an anchor on your happiness.