‘Tis the Season
Kissing Under a Parasite?
Five surprises you didn’t know about mistletoe!
1. The folklore behind mistletoe is quite erotic. It’s considered an aphrodisiac and a fertility herb. When the waxy, white berries are split open, the contents inside are described as looking much like semen. Sounds pretty erotic to me!
2. But don’t TASTE IT! Mistletoe is poisonous and can cause gastrointestinal problems: Stomach pains and diarrhea – and no one will want to kiss you THEN! If you ingest the berries, your pulse rate may drop. However, bring that hot man over quickly for a kiss, and that might speed up that pulse again!
3. In The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent, Washington Irving wrote that young men were privileged to kiss young girls under mistletoe hung in farmhouses and kitchens, and each time, they would have to pluck a white berry from the bush. When the berries were gone, no more kissing was allowed.
4. Mistletoe is a parasitic shrub that grows on trees, not in the ground. And to think we stand under it waiting for cute men to smooch us! Ewww!
5. It gets worse than it just being a parasitic shrub hanging from a tree. Translation of mistletoe: “Dung on a twig.” Now I really don’t want to stand under it waiting for that cute guy!
So next time you’re at a holiday party, all glammed up, sexy and aloof, waiting for that perfect guy to meet you under the mistletoe, just remember that you’ll soon be kissing under that dung on a twig and that it also contains some semen-looking contents. On second thought, let’s just keep these little nuggets of info our own Betty secret! You don’t want to scare the boys away with all this unnecessary talk. Just pucker up and let it happen!