Three Top Matchmakers Share Their Tips for Finding Mr. Right
What to wear, where to go, and the one critical mistake women make that causes men to run for the hills.
Are you tired of kissing frogs and hoping they’ll turn into princes? How many of us have thought, “If only I could just go to a matchmaker…” Well, have no fear, we’ve done it for you! Here, Patti Stanger, Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, Janis Spindel, founder and owner of New York-based Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc., and Beverly Hills matchmaker Marla Martenson offer up real insider tips on how to meet your soulmate.
Finding Mr. Right takes work!
Janis Spindel, author of How To Date Men, really dislikes the old adage, “You’ll find love when you least expect it.” As far as she’s concerned, forget just bumping into Mr. Right by accident; you have to go out and find him. “You must make it your mission,” she tells BettyConfidential, “You must treat it as a job.”
When going on a manhunt, “you must go alone,” says Patti Stanger, who recently published Become Your Own Matchmaker. She suggests hitting up places where you’re most likely to find your type of guy: if it’s athletes you dig, try a sporting event, or if it’s a millionaire you desire, opt for the bar at a fancy restaurant – but you must do it sans girlfriends so you’ll be more approachable. “Go sit at the bar and bring a gender-neutral book,” she says. “Order, tip the bartender well, and smile at the guys you want!”
According to Spindel, once you strike up a conversation, it’s all about getting him to laugh. “Be sure you use humor after you’ve talked about the regular subjects,” she says. And if he hasn’t asked for your number after a few minutes, she suggests teasing him to see where he’s headed. “You can always make a joke and say, ‘So… are you gonna ask me for my number?’”
Put your best foot forward
Of course, once you have a plan in place, you have to show up sporting your fashion A-game. “Men are visual creatures, and I’ve been told that they usually know within the first few minutes whether they’re interested or not. So that means your ‘look’ can make or break it for you,” explains Marla Martenson, author of Excuse Me, Your Soulmate Is Waiting. While Stanger suggests looking subtly sexy and wearing a tank or v-neck, Spindel says it’s all about being a girl. “You have to be feminine and soft,” she says, recommending a skirt or dress and heels. All three experts agree that looking feminine and approachable is the way to go, but being too sexy can send the wrong message. And take it easy on makeup and perfume. “Most men prefer a fresh-faced beauty,” says Martenson. “Some makeup is nice, but don’t overdo it. The same applies to perfume. Less is more. Everyone has different tastes so until you know his, go lightly.”