The Dating Game
Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen: The Gay Dude’s Guide to Guys
Do we really need The Rules rewritten?
Perhaps we should be grateful that Gerry Stergiopoulos‘ new dating guide, Treat Them Mean and Keep Them Keen is only available in the UK. Because when a gay man claims he’s read every other dating book and swears, “I’ve road-tested their theories, boiled them down to their best tips and looked for the advice that actually works.” I don’t believe him.
Outside of turning up in drag, how the hell did he road-test, as Madonna put it, “what it feels like for a girl?” That’s not to say all his advice is wrong. For the first date, Stergiopoulos advises, “It isn’t really a date at all. It’s a preview, an audition to see if you really want to invest a whole date in this man. Dress alluringly, but carefully.” Okay, that’s dead on. There’s nothing worse than blowing your best push-up bra on a dude who smells like a dead cat.
His advice falls apart when he advises women not to talk, but instead listen. “As he blathers on about his work and himself and some childhood holiday in a caravan, just nod.” Um, no. Why would anyone want to keep dating someone who just rambles on about himself?
Shockingly, Stergiopoulos advises no lip locking until the pivotal third date (wait, isn’t that how long you’re supposed to wait to sleep with someone or have I been following the wrong rulebook?) and then not sleep with the guy for three months!!! His philosophy is very similar to my dads’: “you’ve got to accept that if you give it up early, you risk being cast in the category of ‘the ones they just want to sleep with.'”
Where’s the part about buying the cow if he’s getting the milk for free? Sigh. Would you really respect a man who was so easily fooled by such obvious manipulations? And more to the point, do we really need someone else – no matter how funny that someone is, and Stergiopoulos is funny – telling us it’s all our fault we’re single? I don’t think so.