What Are We?

A woman wonders what is truly going on with her relationship.


What Are We?

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: This man and I met through reliable mutual friends and hit it off immediately. He introduced me to his kids a week after our first date (too soon, I know, but it felt right). I spent every weekend at his house and he spent two nights during the week at my house – since he has joint custody of his children. We met each other’s families within the first month and a half. Most importantly, all of this was initiated by him. We talked on the phone often and it was obvious that we both wanted to be in this relationship.

Three months in, he decided (or realized) that he needed to focus more on what was best for his kids, and he also needed to deal with some personal baggage, and so the relationship changed. It’s 10 months later and we still haven’t made anything official, but we do tons of things together. It seemed like this was going somewhere; could it? Why now? What does this mean? This is where I want to be.

Matt: Well, something did change. If you are not an official couple after 10 months, than it makes me believe that he’s distracted by something else. Being a couple means committing to each other and after 10 months he needs to decide whether or not he wants to be a relationship with you. I would press the issue a bit more – ask him the status of “us.” Perhaps be a little more distant yourself and see how he responds.

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3 thoughts on “What Are We?

  1. I think you should just talk to him about it! If he shies away from the subject or tells you he’s not looking for anything serious then it’s time for you to look elsewhere. He might come to his senses and if he doesn’t then the relationship wasn’t going to work anyways.

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