“We only allow each other to say good things about women we’re involved with (or married to). Complaining is considered unmanly; so is bragging. I don’t think I’ve ever had a conversation with another man about a woman one of us was dating that either of us wouldn’t want to get back to her. Exes, on the other hand, are a different matter!” – Billy*, 39, New York
“Male friends are wonderful to talk to when relationships with women have gone sour. I do talk about women with my male friends, but never about the intimate details. It’s always about her personality.” – Jim, 41, New York
“The most detailed sex talk between me and my friends has been: ‘Did you?’ and maybe asking about the where/when details.” – Joseph, 33, Pitt Meadows, Canada
“When I first started seeing my girlfriend, I told my friends about how she was in bed and the good things about her body (‘her boobs are real!’). But as soon as it started to get more serious, I wouldn’t tell them anything.” – Jake*, 24, California
“The only time we talk about our sex life with another guy is if something extraordinary happens—usually something extraordinarily bad. These are the stories we’re dying to tell someone, but wouldn’t want to confess to a priest.” – David, 44, California
“Me and my friends pretty much share everything, but I usually don’t let them know if I have high hopes for a girl I’m dating for fear of looking stupid if it doesn’t work out.” – Dan, 29, Washington
So, what have we learned? Most likely, he’s not oversharing about you if you’ve been dating for a while, are in a comitted relationship, or are married (unless it’s on the rocks). But, if you’re a one night stand, a fling, or a dreaded ex, beware: everything is fair game.
*Name has been changed.
Faye Brennan is an assistant editor at BettyConfidential.