What We Learned From Men's Magazines in April

They think they're funnier than us. And, yes, it can be a problem if they play with themselves too much. Wow, we learned a lot about guys this month.
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What We Learned From Men’s Magazines in April 

They think they’re funnier than us. And, yes, it can be a problem if they play with themselves too much. Wow, we learned a lot about guys this month.

-Faye Brennan

Men's Magazines in April

Isn’t it a shame? Several of this month’s men’s magazines featured the stars of Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Douglas, in an effort to promote the movie. Unfortunately, the film has been pushed back and now it won’t be released until September.

There are probably some pretty steamed magazine editors out there, but at least they still managed to give us some great reading material. Here’s what we learned about at least one of these mega movie stars – and the average Joe – this month.

1. They think they’re funnier than us.
You’ll get a kick out of this nugget of info from Men’s Health. In “What’s So Funny?” by Joel Weber, a poll of 279 men found that 80% of guys think they’re funny, and 75% believe that men are naturally funnier than women. Ugh, please! If men knew the difference between a woman’s real laugh and her “I’m going to pretend he’s funny because he’s trying so hard” laugh, we guarantee those numbers would change.

Read What We Learned From Men’s Magazines in March

2. They’re all headed to Ogden, Utah.
Ladies, if you’re looking for an adventurous guy who will hike, ski, climb mountains and kayak with you, then you’ve got to book your next vacation in Ogden, Utah. According to the feature “Best Places to Live 2010” in this month’s Men’s Journal, Ogden is the place for guys who want “adventure 24/7/365.”  The town’s mayor, Matthew Godfrey, is pushing to make Ogden “the capital of high-adventure recreation” – or, in other words, a gold mine for single gals looking for an active hubby.

Zach Galifianakis3. They like their unkempt, lumberjack beards.
Men’s newfound love affair with the unshaven, grizzly bear, “I bet you’re wondering if I shower” look – pioneered by Zach Galifianakis (left), Joaquin Phoenix and Brad Pitt – has been puzzling us for awhile. But, in “Is This the End of Male Vanity?” GQ’s Mike Albo praises this trend in male grooming (or lack thereof), writing, “I’m relieved to know I’m no longer the only one out there who has stopped trying so hard, or at least can’t really afford to try so hard.” News flash, Mike: It’s not a walk in the park to shave our legs every day either, but that doesn’t mean we’re just going to stop doing it. Man up and shave already!

4. They feel guilt towards their parents, too.
Once we start living on our own, sooner or later we all go through a phase where we feel extremely guilty about our parents – we never call, and certainly never visit enough. Some of us might even find ourselves thinking a lot like Dan Kennedy of GQ. As he writes in “Mommy, I’m Home,” “[I’ve been] thinking how weird it is that the two people who are more invested in my life than anyone else on the planet are people whom I haven’t spent significant time with for the past twenty years.” This sentiment almost makes us want to go live with our parents for 30 days, too, as Kennedy did for his piece. But then again, maybe just a phone call will do.

Read Are Men More Attracted to Smarter, Wealthier Women?

5. They care about how much we make.
In “100 First Dates,” Men’s Health’s Girl Next Door, Carolyn Kylstra, reveals an interesting tidbit about young men: When they’re on the prowl, they do take into account how much we’re bringing home. “A study of 163 college speed-daters conducted by Eastwick and Eli Finkel, Ph. D., of Northwestern University, found that men, contrary to their stated assumption, care just as much about a mate’s earning potential as women do.” They can deny, deny, deny, but the truth is out – apparently our wallets matter.

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