ASK REAL GUYS
Push and Pull
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I recently was involved with a man for a year. As the relationship deepened and he expressed just how much my love was “healing him,” he cheated on me. He did not have sex, but started to go after a woman that was my polar opposite. I ended the relationship, he begged for me back, we dated for another month, but he soon ended it after that. He said he was just scared that we were not right for each other and he wanted to pursue this other woman. He also told me that he had cheated in the past to get out of relationships, and had never been involved in a successful one.
He continues to pursue me even now, saying he loves me, but still just isn’t sure if we are “long timers” & that he is only friends with this other women (meaning they have not crossed any physical boundaries) and just can’t commit to a relationship.
I was completely in love and engrossed in the relationship with hopes of a long future. Now, I still love him, but these bits & pieces are confusing me and I am finding it difficult to move on. I tried to cut off our contact but if I don’t call him he comes over. And I love seeing him…
I’ve never been this indecisive about a man in my life! The relationship was great and on track when he cheated, so I am completely shattered. He has confessed that he feels “scattered & lost” without me, but is afraid of a future with me. What’s going on in his head?
Avery: The man who you have been involved with has shown you his true colors, and you seem to accept it. If he’s cheated on you in the past – which he has – he’ll continue to do it in the future. What’s going on in his head is that he likes being involved in multiple relationships. If you like this see-saw style relationship, then continue to see him. If not, then make a clean break of it.