Whoopi's Pisstory Lesson

Leaking the truth about Cleopatra, the Mona Lisa model and more.

Whoopi’s Pisstory Lesson

Leaking the truth about Cleopatra, the Mona Lisa model and more.

-The Betty Editors

Whoopi Goldberg

We really thought Whoopi had lost her edge once she signed on as a cohost on The View. (Not that we don’t like Babs and her posse, but they can be a little, um, tame.) But for hysterical outrageousness, Whoopi’s commercials for pads to battle Light Bladder Leakage (LBL) equal anything she’s done in the past (think of Fontaine, amiable former drug addict, in the show Fontaine…Why Am I Straight?).

In videos promoting the pad, Whoopi channels everyone from Eve (you know, the one from the Garden of Eden) to Cleopatra and the title character from that beloved fairy tale The Princess and the Pee. And girls, you can actually learn something from them. Looks like one out of every three women accidentally sprays when they sneeze, laugh hard, exercise or even get hugged or squeezed.

That’s LBL, or as Whoopi calls it, spritz. It bugs women of every age, and according to history as recounted by W. Goldberg, it’s bugged women throughout every age. “I don’t want to be painted,” snaps the model for the Mona Lisa. “I want to be dry!”

But the good news is that you can do something about it. Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and prevent leakage. (Bonus: they also increase your ability to have orgasms.) To do the exercises, squeeze as if you want to stop your urine flow in mid-stream. Doing these exercises for 5 minutes at a time, 3 times a day, can lower or even eliminate your leakage.

Read The 4 Most Embarrassing Problems “Down There”

Other steps:
*Keep your weight normal
*Avoid spicy foods that can irritate your bladder
*Cut back on caffeinated drinks, which can make you produce more urine
*Regularly empty your bladder
*Wear a pantiliner or pad on days when you know you might not be able to frequently get to a bathroom

And don’t be embarrassed to talk about it with your girlfriends. After all, if it happened to Cleopatra, you’re in pretty good company!


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0 thoughts on “Whoopi's Pisstory Lesson

  1. hope_xo says:

    1 in 3 women? Wow.

  2. mothermeryl says:

    Leave it to Whoopi to do something like this! Hysterical!

  3. uptowngirl says:

    Gotta love Whoopi!

  4. nenita29 says:

    the new Mona Lisa is Whoopi . i love ya since i was a child me and my grandma gets a bang out of you. thanks for being so funny

  5. Talon says:

    I totally believe the 1 in 3. Whenever I started a new sport in HIGH SCHOOL it’d take me a week or two to stop “spritzing”.

    No one ever said anything about crap like that. But then my body would adjust and it’d stop.

    Then later I had two kids. But Kegles and orgasms do a world of good. *wink* I got bigger fish to fry than to worry over much about my very occasional “spritz” personally. Every single one of my girlfriends has this issue occasionally. I think 1 in 3 is a conservative estimate.

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