Why Men Marry Up and Cheat Down
Celebrity cheaters may grab all the headlines, but they’re not the only ones who marry “up” and then cheat with less-than-respectable ladies. A relationship expert deciphers this troubling trend.
If you have filet mignon heating up at home, why would you go out for a burger at McDonald’s? And if you’re a man who has a beautiful, loving, practically-perfect-in-every-way woman at home, why would you go off and cheat with someone who’s clearly at least a step down from what you already have right in the palm of your hand? Over the last year or so, the phenomenon of men “marrying up and cheating down” has become all too familiar, especially in celebrity news stories a la Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, Tiger and Elin Woods, and Eliot and Silda Spitzer. All of these men scored big by “marrying up,” with wives who are beautiful, accomplished and maybe even too good for them. But then they cheated “down” with women who were clearly less accomplished and educated, and who also had more tattoos, piercings and hours logged on the stripper pole than the ladies they left at home. So what is it with this trend of men cheating down the food chain?
We spoke with relationship expert April Masini to help us shed some light on the situation. “Would you buy an apple to eat and expect it to taste like a tomato?” she asks. “So why is there such surprise when a woman marries a bad boy and expects him to act like a gentleman, but he fails? He’s not a gentleman and he may parade around as if he is one, but over time, a leopard shows its spots, and an apple tastes like an apple no matter how hard you try to imagine it’s a tomato,” April tells BettyConfidential.
Just like women may have their favorite designer of shoes or preferred brand of chocolate to cheat on their diets with, men also know what they like. “I feel very strongly that most men have a type and that’s what they gravitate towards. Jesse James’ type was heavily tattooed low-lifes. Sandra Bullock was not his type and that should’ve raised a red flag for everyone in both her life and his when he married her. There was very little chance he was going to change who he was and is – even for love,” she explains.