Why You Should Date Men Raised By Single Moms
Six reasons single-mama-men will rock your world.
Ladies, take out your notebooks. I’m about to divulge one of my biggest dating secrets. You want to find a truly amazing partner? A grown-up guy who’s got his you-know-what together? A dude who will rarely let you down?
Pick a man who was raised by a single mom.
Pundits like to decry single-parent families as the downfall of our civilization. Many studies have focused on the difficulties children raised in single-family homes face (including school troubles, substance abuse and divorce later in life), although many of these studies fail to control for the lower socioeconomic status of the children involved. Rarely mentioned? Despite all their hardships, single-parent families can also produce strong, solid and immensely dateable young men.
I’ve lived with male roommates for many years. Whenever my friends drop by, they can’t get over how clean and tidy our house is. “You live here with four guys?” they ask, incredulous. “Yep,” I respond. “They’re usually neater than I am.” I attribute the boys’ superior household habits to their amazing mothers, who raised them (mostly) all on their own.
They’re the guys I call if my car breaks down, a date dumps me or a spider creeps into my room. These single-mama-men do what they say they’ll do, show up where they’re supposed to and almost always remember to change the toilet paper roll. What more could you want in a husband-to-be?
Manhattan psychologist Dr. Joseph Cilona cautions against taking these individual stand-outs and making generalizations about all men raised by single moms, reminding us that “a mother who has very poor parenting skills or is abusive and neglectful can create the opposite effect and make it much more likely that the man will grow up with serious problems relating to women and in relationships.”
However, he adds, “Men raised exclusively by women may have an advantage over those who are not when it comes to things like effective communication, insight into emotionality and expressiveness.”
My own (terribly unscientific) theory is that these men had a lot of practice taking care of themselves and taking care of women – or at least being on the same team as the women in their lives. They learned from a young age much of the “husband training” most men learn oh-so-late in life from their exasperated girlfriends.