Why Doesn't He Understand?

A stay-at-home mom seeks advice about how to make her husband understand that she is busy, too.


He Doesn’t Get It

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: My husband works long hours because he is self-employed and he cannot understand why as a stay-at-home mom my job is 24/7. He wants me to stop doing all the housework and laundry on weekends in order to spend time with him. I mentioned that I would have more time for him if he pitched in around the house on his days off, but he says that it’s not his job and that I should take care of my tasks during the week. We have three children and I do all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill paying, and I also attend our children’s after-school activities on top of offering homework help. I run my own small business from home, which also keeps me very busy. If I simply stopped doing all of the housework for an entire weekend I would never catch up again. How can I get him to either pitch in or to stop complaining about me washing his boxer shorts on Saturdays?

Avery: Wow – it actually sounds like you and your husband have an excellent life together – you’re both hard working and raising three kids. I think that both of you are going to have to find some middle ground – for example – you should leave the housework and working on your small business for ONE of the days of the weekend when you can both be together. Another suggestion would be to take a short two day trip on the weekend when neither of you can do the “normal” stuff that you’d do on the weekend. It sounds like both of you just need some fun time alone together and so an upcoming birthday, anniversary or special date would be the perfect time to plan this small getaway. Once you both are out of the regular environment, talking about these small issues will be so much easier.

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