Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms: Is It War?

One working mom reaches out to a stay-at-home mom and is pleasantly surprised; the two can be friends!

A New Series Reaching Beyond Stereotypes

Can Working and Stay-at-Home Moms Be Friends?

One mom’s journey to reach beyond the “Mommy Wars”


friends sitting around a tableMy husband and I were at an incredible park a few months ago (the kind that makes you feel like you are in the middle of Tuscany), and met this very rich couple (not talking financially here). They have a boy the same age as our twin boys, and a baby girl a month older than ours.

I don’t know about you, but it is RARE when my husband and I both bond with both spouses of a new acquaintance – SHOOT! We have a hard enough time bonding with both the husband and wife of existing relationships that we brought to the table from before we were married.

Anyway, this couple (I’ll call them Carol and Krish) is REALLY interesting! They are both foreign nationals (she’s from Quebec, he’s from India), and they each share stimulating conversation from the current financial crises to world politics when we are together. This is conversation I so desperately need after an exhausting day of:

1) Intense work (at least 10 hour days);
2) Child-rearing and caring;
3) Household chores; and
4) MY daily workouts (without them, I’d lose my mind).

It turns out that Carol used to work in the Canadian Parliament for 12 years (we share this past life and interest in politics). She LOVES to travel; me too! (We may even travel together). She GETS the pressures that I am under in my business, she’s a great mom, has a very supportive husband (who cooks!), and I feel like I can talk to her about most anything.

Still, I can’t help to think, is there a division between us?

You know that division: I work; she’s a stay-at-home mom.

Does she judge me? Do I judge her? Do we judge each other for the choices we made?

Does she envy me? (She tells me she needs to do something besides be with the kids 24/7).

Do I envy her? (I do want to spend more FUN time with my kids, not just errand time and doctor’s appointments).

One thing is for sure … I am going to get past this notion that working and stay-at-home moms can’t be friends or have nothing in common. It is simply not true. We CAN learn from one another, and perhaps, even balance each other out in ways that we so urgently need.

Just do me a favor …

PLEASE, do not talk about the kids the entire time when we get together! :)

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