Would You Bleach Your Bum?
Is bleaching your skin down there really the latest trend?
Oh my! And here I thought I had enough to worry about trying to keep up with my monthly waxes… apparently I’ve been overlooking an oh-so-important question: What color is my, um… derriere?
If it’s not rosebud pink, well, Houston, we have a problem – at least according to South Beach Skin Solutions, a company that offers an array of skin bleaching products for the whole body. And I do mean the whole body – from armpit to vajajay. Yes, that’s right. There is now bleach for your bum and for your lady parts. You know, just in case anything’s a little… well, off-color.
According to South Beach, “anal bleaching is not an urban myth … it’s one of the hottest trends in beauty enhancement.” Who knew? I admit I have heard of it before, but only in reference to gay porn stars. Yet apparently, like bedazzled vaginas, it’s a trend sweeping the nation as women search for even more ways to smooth, tighten, plump, pluck and otherwise coax their bodies into perfection. Really? Just so you know I’m not making this up, Marie Claire recently ran an article headlined, “Is Anal Bleaching for You?” Really.
Sigh. Remember the good old days when all a girl needed to get ready for Friday night was a bottle of nail polish, a Bic razor and your “good” undies? I blame Sex and the City. It’s all Candace Bushnell’s fault. Damn you Sarah Jessica Parker and your cadre of overly manicured sexed-up friends!
All kidding aside, If you’re feeling uncomfortable about embarrassing dark or discolored intimate areas – whether they’ve always been that way or they’ve recently changed thanks to wild hormones or pregnancy – and it makes you feel better to, er, lighten things up, well, then, why the hell not? But I will say one thing. Any guy who gets close enough to take a look at my nether regions better just be happy to be there. If he’s worried about whether my wink is pink enough, well, he’s in the wrong place. So long, sweetie, and don’t let the door hit your hairy butt on the way out. You’re lucky I had time for a mani-pedi!
Tell us: Is this trend going too far? Or is it something you’d try?