Would You Wear These Jeans?
We’ve heard of having eyes in the back of your head, but this is crazy!
Got a little junk in your trunk, ladies? No need to hide it. Just slap two gigantic animal eyes on your ass so they wink as you walk. Meow!
That’s the idea behind Winkers – new custom-painted pants that cause the wearer’s rear end to “wink” as their cheeks crease. Really – what wardrobe is complete without a pair of eye-painted-pants that highlight the fat folds on your fanny?
But wait – it gets better.
If you thought you were uncomfortable reading about Winkers, wait til you watch the disturbing video of Winkers in action. File this one under Unintentionally Hilarious YouTube Disasters. (More than 375,000 people have watched the clip since its debut last week, so you KNOW there’s a pot of gold waiting at the end of the Winker Rainbow.)
Creator William Jones, a 73-year-old retiree, told me he shot and edited the video himself. Which kind of explains the tremendous absurdity of this slice of celluloid.
From the rotund-reared models showcased most unflatteringly, to the cheesy public domain music (which one commenter accurately described as “eightiestastic”), to the constant close-ups of bulging behinds, to the fact that we are watching LION EYES and OWL EYES and MOVIE CLAPBOARDS THAT SPELL OUT “ACTION” ON WOMEN’S ASSES – this is a giant fail wink. (And one you’ll instantly forward to all your friends.)