XXX-mas! It’s the Sexiest Time of the Year
Is that an eggnog in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
The weather outside may be frightful, but according to biorhythm researchers, it’s all hot and steamy inside. These researchers-along with sex-toy manufacturers surveyed-claim that the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (aka the Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukah/New Year’s week) produces a year-high spike in sexual activity and conceptions in the United States.
AMNY spoke with a gentleman named Darryl Remson who pointed out that, “It’s cold outside, so of course, people want to cuddle more.” It would seem that most folks are getting up to more than cuddling because according to David Lam of the University of Michigan’s Population Studies Center in Ann Arbor, births spike accordingly, nine months later, in September.
So pronounced-and global-is this surge that nine years ago, four British public health researchers declared the week encompassing the two holidays a “festival on fertility” in an article in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.
A number of different factors were cited as reasons why this might be, with numero uno being booze. Increased alcohol consumption often means decreased inhibitions. So if you’re going to get liquored up, remember to use some form of birth control unless you want to be part of that parenting spike in September.
Of course, one major contributing factor is the number of people who make “having children” one of their New Year’s resolutions.
Last but not least – because we’re a country of workaholics, just having some extra time off lets us pencil in some getting down time. Three-day weekends like Labor Day, Memorial Day, and the Fourth of July have traditionally produced an increase in condom sales, but they’re mere blips when compared to the Holiday Double-Whammy of Christmas and New Year’s.
A generally festive atmosphere combined with an increase in hedonism were also cited by researchers. But really – who cares why? Just get to it. Don’t let a new sweater be the only thing you unwrap under the tree this Christmas day.