Yearning for Intimacy

A woman seeks advice about how to take things to the next level in her relationship, without upsetting her boyfriend.


Craving Intimacy

Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I am 44 years old and am involved with a man who is 60. We have been dating for about six months and I understand that he has a stressful job and family issues, but I’m concerned that he’s shying away from intimacy. I have never been with a man his age before, and I’m wondering if our age difference is putting him off. How do I approach this? I would like to take things to the next level without pushing him away.

Steven: These are all valid and important questions to talk about with him. Let him know that you are concerned about pushing him away, but some things are on your mind and you wonder whether he would be OK with talking about it.

As you proceed to talk about it with him, if you sense tention, stop talking about the issue and address the tention that you feel and make sure he is OK. Generally speaking, after helping thousands of people in my seminars and in my books, it is not the issues that are the problem. It is the way we talk to each other that gets in the way of solving the problem. Every issue that you raise is fair and appropriate, remember that you can’t solve a problem you don’t understand, and neither can he.

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