A Real Guy Tells: How To Be Approachable Without Seeming Desperate

Flirt so men will feel comfortable talking to you, not want to run away!
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A Real Guy Tells: How To Be Approachable Without Seeming Desperate

Flirt so men will feel comfortable talking to you, not want to run away!

-Hunt Ethridge

Attractive couple meeting

The dating world is filled with a myriad of mixed messages, contrary advice and hypocritical double standards. No wonder it can cause so many women to retreat into their safe haven of sweatpants, Merlot and Grey’s Anatomy reruns. It’s daunting out there! If you bat your eyelashes over your shoulder in the general direction of a handsome young gent, your girlfriends applaud you telling you that you’re doing a good job of being approachable. However, those snotty women over in the corner will accuse you of being desperate. Men, with their fragile egos, want to know a woman is going to be receptive before approaching. Yet we can smell desperation on a woman the same way you can smell shadiness on a man. How does one maintain an air of approachability without becoming a desperate dater?

Here’s an insider tip ladies; men’s ego’s are much more fragile than yours.  What’s keeping him from coming up and talking to you? Most likely fear. We get shot down all the time. We don’t want it to happen if it doesn’t have to. Make it clear that you would like to speak to us. A simple meeting of the eyes, coy smile and slow look-away should do it. The smile is key. Otherwise he may think you’re just zoning out and didn’t even notice him.

Once you’ve made your “move”, relax. Okay, you can do it one more time in case he’s a little slow on the pick up or is still trying to screw up his courage. But after that, cool it. We may be dumb but we’re not stupid. We see you. The more you keep trying to catch our attention, the less chance it’s going to happen. Sometimes (believe it or not) we’re just out for a night with the boys and not interested in the dance. We may come up and talk to you later but if you keep throwing stuff in our direction, you’ll come across as needy and desperate.

Read 25 Ways to Meet a Guy This Holiday Season

In order to get noticed, you need to be noticeable. Wear something that will catch people’s attention. A brightly colored top, a flowing skirt, kick-ass boots or an interesting hair clip could do the job. You want to stand out without seeming to be an eccentric. Your outfit should be a non-verbal conversation. Someone checking out your ensemble should be able to get a general sense of you. Use the winter to your advantage. In a sea of darks, be a shining beacon of color.

Don’t go overboard. I know, I know, it’s an unqualifiable generalization. We’ll go over a few basics. First, your girls may be beautiful but save them for the bedroom. Less is more when it comes to cleavage. Obviously if you’re busty, they’re there but no need to bare lots of skin. It looks like you’re trying too hard. You don’t need a neon sign advertising your goods. When making fashion choices, don’t try to cram too much into your look. If you’re going for bohemian chic, the patchwork skirt and printed top would be enough.  You don’t need the hand-knitted cap, woven hemp bracelets, chunky wooden jewelry, hair ribbon, tasseled leather bag and your Antik Batik sequin sandals. To us it looks like you’re trying to zero in on the ONE GUY that loves what you’ve got going on while ignoring the rest. Calm down and diversify.

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5 thoughts on “A Real Guy Tells: How To Be Approachable Without Seeming Desperate

  1. Fashionista says:

    Now here’s a guy who knows what he’s talking about! These are great tips. I’ve definitely been guilty of the last one — hanging out too much with the boys. But sometimes, it’s more fun to hang with the guys and have a drama-free night.

    But the one thing that I think Hunt is wrong about is the “wear an interesting hair clip” point. It’s like the scrunchie argument in Sex and the City… who wears a hair clip to the bar?

  2. baby fab says:

    informed guy, seems rude for some but honost at most

  3. Ally says:

    This was in no way possible written by a guy. This is a female writer.

  4. davile says:

    Tips for a great article, thank you for taking the time to share a little tip a great dantrik to other readers

  5. DJay says:

    There was a girl I saw on the street today at a bus stop. I was walking by and she seemed to be burning a hole into me with her eyes. Also she seemed to be looking more at my body than my face. The problem was I wasn't sure if she was looking at me cause she was interested or if she was just zoning out on me cause she wasn't really smiling enough so I didn't approach. If she would have looked me in the eye and quickly smiled and then looked away I would have taken it as a sure sign that its okay to approach her. However since she didn't do that I figured maybe her gaze was accidental and that she would just be rude to me for approaching her on the street…. Sigh. Why can't women ever do this part right?

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