Are You Giving Him Too Much?
Men are providers my nature, so why are we wrapping gift packages and planning trips?
You were the world’s greatest girlfriend. You made him dinners! You planned a surprise party for him! Sent him care packages! Gave him one of your kidneys…maybe not. Either way, you were thoughtful, giving, selfless and he left you. Now you find yourself asking, “what did I do wrong?” Honestly, maybe just that…
My mother has always told me to let men pursue me. She is from Sweden and I told her to keep her old world, Jane Austen era opinions to herself. Now, after having actually been the girl standing on the porch, giant Lord of the Rings Themed gift package in arms and tears streaming down my face, I’ve since learned that no matter where you come from, the rules of romantic liaisons are universal. You were right mom.
Ballsy or Bossy?
You have a fabulous life: fun, witty, trustworthy girlfriends, a kick-ass job and you got your adorable apartment for $200 less a month than it was listed at. Why? Because you went after the things you wanted. You’ve been conditioned to be a go-getter. With all those benefits that came from being ballsy, it’s hard to put your balls aside when it comes to dating. But there is one simple fact I have just had to accept. Gender roles DO matter. Don’t get me wrong. You can love football; you can be loud and assertive. If you’re not into shaving your legs, there are plenty of Co-Ops in Berkeley where you’ll still be considered the prettiest bell at the ball. It’s not a personality or style thing that I am talking about, so crack open that beer and listen up.
Men are providers by nature. Yes, I’m taking you back to the whole women living in caves with their youngins while the men hunted and ran from Saber tooth tigers. Wow, now that I think about it, providing for us these days is a cinch! Regardless, the best thing you can give a guy is this phrase: “thank you SO much. That thing you did for me made me so happy.” Yup, making you happy actually makes him happy. Unless you’re dating a narcissistic, egotistical chauvinist. But if you’re not, then let your guy do things for you. By letting him give you something, you actually are giving him something—the feeling of success.