Are You Too Nice?
Being agreeable is one thing. Being a doormat is another. How to tell if it’s time to put yourself first for a change.
-Art Markman, Ph.D., YouBeauty.com
When you look at the other people in your life, there are lots of ways that you are the same. You speak the same language, you all eat a few times a day and you have a tendency to breathe regularly. There are also lots of ways that you differ. Some of those differences are physical—some people are tall and others are short—but many of them have to do with behavior.
The differences in the way people behave form what we call their personality.
Psychologists have identified a number of core aspects of personality, and one of the most important is a characteristic called agreeableness. Agreeableness reflects how important it is for you to get along with other people. If you are highly agreeable, then you organize your life in ways to make sure that the people around you are happy and that they feel warmly toward you. If you are not that agreeable, then you don’t really care much about how the people around you feel about you.
If you want to know your own level of agreeableness, you can take the YouBeauty personality inventory.
Now, you might think that being agreeable is generally a good thing and that being disagreeable is not. After all, if you are disagreeable, you may get people angry with you or you might turn off your friends. Disagreeable people may come off as judgmental or cold.
But people who are highly agreeable are often too nice. And that can be a huge problem.
Remember, that if you are highly agreeable, you want other people to like you. As a result, you may not want to say things to other people that might upset them. That means that you will not stick up for yourself in lots of situations. You may not tell a friend or significant other that you are not interested in going to an event that they want to attend. You may not tell someone else that they have upset you. You probably have a hard time asking for a raise.
Tips on what to do if you find yourself being too nice up next!