“Being Around You Is Enough to Drive a Man to Suicide”
How to handle haters in your love life.
Last week I received a fan letter from a reader named Sarah in Houston! She had the urge to track me down after reading my 8 Types of Men We’re Boycotting column. I hate to brag, but Sarah was certainly moved by what I wrote:
“Thank you, Carrie Seim, for adding one more pile of sh** to the already clogged plumbing system that is the world of women’s magazines…Judging from your article, just being around you and your negative personality is enough to drive a man to suicide.”
I have arrived.
Sarah’s email continued for ten enthusiastic paragraphs, spotlighting each of the eight points in my column and helpfully pointing out why no one will ever, ever date me. (Sarah says it has something to do with “every piece of word diarrhea that falls out of your talk-hole.”)
It was awesome advice and I passed it on to the man in my life so he could dump me immediately. I also made an appointment with my doctor so he could prescribe word diarrhea meds for my talk-hole.
Then I let out a big exhale because, according to Sarah, men are finally willing to lay down their lives on my behalf! How rockstar is that?! (Oh, and I was totally afraid people would think my article was “funny,” but Sarah got that I was 100% Serious Town.)
Yes, I’m now able to laugh hard at her hatorade. But if I had received a letter like this earlier in my life (and believe me, when I was writing for The Tyra Banks Show, I received plenty of creative hate mail, frequently referring to my petite figure as “Skeletor”), it would have destroyed me. Criticism – especially about your personal life or appearance, is hard to take, even when it’s your job to put your life on display.