5. The 2003 MTV VMAs Madonna Kiss
It was the kiss seen round the world. “Me Against the Music” partner and Britney’s idol Madonna sang and danced to “Like a Virgin” on stage at the 2003 MTV VMAs with Christina Aguilera. Madge and Brit paused for a smooch and boom! The world replayed the clip of the pop pair over and over again. They also included the completely stone-faced Justin Timberlake’s reaction in the playing, but left out the fact that Christina got a kiss with Madonna too.
4. Vegas Wedding to Jason Alexander
What happens in Vegas ends 55 hours later! Britney eloped with her bestie from childhood Jason Alexander in Las Vegas in January 2004 and a little over two days later, the marriage was over. I wish I could tell you this was when I stopped worrying about her love life but my optimistic self was about to get a rude awakening.
3. Marriage to K-Fed
Ugh. No. NO. Can we please just pretend this was all a bad dream? (Except for the kids that came out of it, they’re pretty cute.) Britney married her infamous backup dancer Kevin Federline in July 2004 which was completely controversial since his ex-gf Shar Jackson was preggers with his second child. Remember the matching tracksuits at the engagement? Oh Britney why?
2. Where’s the Car Seat?
Rules of parenting 101: NEVER drive with your child in your lap and with no seat belt on. Even if it is to get away from the paparazzi, always keep your kids safe in their car seats. And preferably not in the front seat either.
1. Shaving Her Head and the Attack of the Umbrellas
You never forgot the picture that popped up in February 2007: a spacey Britney holding a razor to her head and grinning at the slowly balding pop princess before her. And then it was the OTHER picture that came the same month later of Britney attacking the paps with an umbrella. She claimed it was for a movie she was cast in. Britney, Britney, it’s okay. You got the treatment you needed at Promises and completed the program. You’ll be okay. We got you on this one.
Bonus Round: Leave Britney Alone!
C’mon, you didn’t expect me to leave this Chris Crocker viral vid classic in the dust did you?
Heather Taylor is BettyConfidential’s L.A. correspondent