Capitol Fashion: Our Fantasy ‘Hunger Games’ Boutique Is Open for Business!
What would a Hunger Games-inspired boutique look like? Our imaginations just set up shop.
Fans of Suzanne Collin’s dystopian Hunger Games series understand that Capitol cruelty extends far beyond gladiatorial death matches. Right in time for the March 23, 2012 release of the eponymous film, we imagined a Capitol-style boutique including beauty tools, unnecessary cosmetic procedures, and bloody fights… with discounts, of course.
Here’s a brochure we think Panem citizens would see leading up to the 74th annual Hunger Games. And you thought magazine ads were bad!
Welcome, welcome to the totally unofficial Hunger Games Boutique! Shop as you watch the tributes drop, complete with a complimentary side of charred bread a la District 12.
And while you chow down like the Girl on Fire, you can dress just like her, too. Enchant your beau with a frock that bursts into flames after every step (the HG Boutique is not liable for related burn injuries–please see an Avox associate for a waiver form).
We also carry a full line of tribute gear. Pay homage to players of Games past –family members of dead tributes will receive a 5% discount. And you said the Capitol never gave you anything!
Top your fiery new look off with an equally Capitol-worthy ‘do. A full range of wigs are available in-shop. Heading out to the Games? Splatter your cream-colored curls with authentic blood from Capitol prisoners (extra fees apply).
But never fear: we’d never let your face go au natural! With our Foxface procedure, you can look like the slyest tribute to date from the comfort of your own home.
Hunger Games nails? That’s so last Game season! Check out our brand new 12-piece fragrance collection. Get that shimmering finish from District 1, take a trip to the sea with District 4’s metallic fish scent, or smell like coal and ashes just like poor mine workers from District 12.
But no look is complete without our exclusive District 12 tanning beds. Get that desperately-roaming-the-forest glow after only one appointment. Choose from settings like Hunger Pangs Tan, Starvation Orange, and Deathly Red for a color that’s just right for fight night.
Sign up for a membership to receive personalized beauty training from a Capitol stylist and monthly cosmetics care packages by parachute.
Special Offer Alert: This week only, fight the careers from District 1 for special discounts. Enjoy 25% off for fatally wounding one or a whopping 50% off for a kill (again, the HG Boutique is not liable for related injuries –please see an Avox associate for a waiver form). May the odds be ever in your favor!
We hope to celebrate the 74th annual Hunger Games with you!
Diana Denza is a regular contributor to BettyConfidential.