Catfights! Crying! Dogs! The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Finale Recap!
Reading this will either make you want to watch the next season or run far, far away …
Thursday night was the (much) anticipated end of the first season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Sniff! In real life, we’ve been hearing about Camille and Kelsey Grammer’s divorce; watching the show (filmed months ago) we see the marriage slowly disintegrate. Fun times!
So, the episode opens in New York City with Camille having pre-Tonys drinks with Kelsey and friends, interspersed with Camille’s commentary on how she felt being there. Honey, if you have an apartment in New York City and your husband puts you up in a hotel instead of staying with you, well, most people would call it a sign that there’s something wrong with the marriage. During her visit Camille stopped by her apartment and the doorman made her show her ID because he didn’t believe she was Mrs. Grammer.
Feeling sorry for her? Maybe you shouldn’t. During her “pity me” monologue, Camille mentions that when you divorce a celebrity everyone knows. Also, Camille, when you sign up to do a reality show, everyone knows … everything.
Camille says Kelsey “kept me in a cage,” but this same woman who complains she’s disenfranchised, kept down and belittled was a partner in Kelsey’s production company and made executive decisions – so something doesn’t add up.
Speaking of math — it’s hard to feel sorry for someone who complains that she’s a single parent and has four, four, yes four nannies. That’s two nannies per kid. Nothing like hands-on parenting. Yeesh.
Enough of Camille. I think we’re all done with Camille. Let’s talk about what’s going on with the other housewives, okay?
Kyle Richards, armed with her mother’s ashes and hair (yikes) visits her psychic Rebecca. Rebecca the psychic tells Kyle that her mom knows she had a fight with her sister and that Kyle feels betrayed by Kim. My dog could have told Kyle that.
Skipping ahead … Ken Todd, Lisa Vanderpump, Cedric Martinez and Giggy the dog are sitting by the pool. Cedric’s purple and lime bathing trunks look like undies. Lisa and Ken tell Cedric it’s time for the baby bird to fly the nest. Cedric doesn’t want to leave. Um, if you were living in a multi-million dollar house, driving expensive cars, eating fab food … all for FREE, would you move out? Uh no.
As much as Cedric bats his big eyes to Lisa, it’s not working anymore. Lisa states, “I don’t want anything to become between the relationship between my husband and I.”
We all know from previous episodes that Ken, Lisa’s husband, has been done with Cedric for months. Ken thinks Cedric is nothing more than a freeloader: “I wouldn’t take it from my children and I won’t take it from a 37-year-old man.”
OMG! Cedric is 37?! OMG! Cedric is now going to have to find a job! A JOB!
Interspersed with all of this are scenes of Kim Richards going to visit Thierry, a makeup artist. We watch her putting on eye shadow at the salon, and we’re also treated to scenes where she’s speaking directly to the camera. All season, we’ve watched Kim and noticed that she’s, let’s put it delicately, wacky, and now we know why: “My whole life I worked every single day of my childhood … my sisters worked, but not how I did. It was my job that bought our home, their cars and our lifestyle.”
Ouch. In a previous episode, Kim revealed that her mother studied acting and when her children were born, put them to work. Now we know why Kim’s seething with resentment.
Okay, enough of them, we’re treated to a scene at Taylor Armstrong’s house. Russell Armstrong, her husband, has finally come to his senses about the dog. If you have child who is allergic to a dog, don’t buy one for her. But noooo! All season, we get to see little Kennedy fall in love with a puppy who makes her sick. Off-camera, we hear Taylor say that she’s giving Snowball to her friend Serena for a trial run whilst Taylor and family take a trip to Mexico so that she and Russell can talk about their relationship. Since when do you need to go to another country to have a conversation? And you’re going to have a serious conversation while your daughter is around?
The massive catfight to end all catfights is up next!