Decoding Dating Profiles: The Top 10 Guys You Want To Avoid

If his online dating profile has any of these red flags... move on to the next one, sweetheart!
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guy computer couch

5. Lost In Translation.
“Maybe should me first by said that English is no my speaking.” If you think that was hard to decipher, imagine how much time he put “into” perfecting it via his use of the [insert any foreign language] to English on-line dictionary. I’m sorry ladies, I don’t know about you, but I for one don’t have the patience to date a guy that requires subtitles. I’ve done it once, and you just end up smiling and nodding a lot.

6. Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I get really turned off by the guys that describe themselves as “very attractive,” “charming,” “kind,” “honest,” “generous,” “romantic,” “blah,” “blah,” “adjective,” “blah.”  First of all, “attractiveness” is in the eye of the beholder, so post your pic and let us be the judge.  And as for the rest of it, I feel it should come across in what you say and be more of a “show-not-tell.”

Read Put Sexy Time and Romance Back Into Your Relationship

7.  Humor Me
Along those same lines are the guys that find the need to describe their humor ala “I have a dry wit, sure to make you laugh,” or “I think that my most marked trait is a somewhat self-deprecating sense of humor.” They may even go as far as to say, “I’m the funniest guy you’ll ever meet. LOL.”  Be warned ladies, these are likely the least funny guys ever. Date the self-proclaimed “funny guy” and you’ll be courtesy laughing for life.

8.  Don’t “Hang” Yourself
“I’m looking for someone to hang out with and get to know.”  Translation:  I’m not looking for a relationship or to take you out on dates. I just want to come “kick it “ at your crib late night, so I can get familiarized with your liquor cabinet and favorite positions. Don’t worry, I’ll bring the 420. Let’s just say these relationships tend to be as short-lived and easily delete-able as the text messages they’re usually founded on.

9.  Come Correct
If someone mentions that they are “opened to the possibilities,” “have interests which might seem like contractions,” are “emmotionally available” and/or, get this, find “grammatical errors an spelling mitakes a turn off,” you may even want to go as far as to “flag” the profile as inappropriate.

10. “Fit” To Be Tied
Avoid any and all guys that say, “working out and staying in shape are very high on my list of priorities.” They probably then delve into stats on how frequently they go to the gym. They of course like to do a “variety of things including hiking, skiing, triathlons, running, biking, etc.” They keep themselves “in tip-top shape and believe the body is a gift and should be maintained.” What they clearly haven’t realized is that being SO “fit” and “big” actually makes “it” appear even smaller than what they’re already trying to over-compensate for.

Amber SolettiAmber Soletti is the co-founder of one of NYC’s hottest dating services and a marketing consultant for BeautyVt.com. Amber has written many published articles on dating advice and the NYC singles scene. She, along with her edgy, tongue-in-cheek “themed” speed dating events, singles parties and free online dating service have been featured by The New York Times, Howard Stern, Regis & Kelly, The New York Post, What Not To Wear, Dateline NBC, Good Day NY, CNN and more.


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5 thoughts on “Decoding Dating Profiles: The Top 10 Guys You Want To Avoid

  1. Lennie Ross says:

    Great post! Easiest fix for guys is NO CAPS or excessive !!! or :) ’s – makes you automatically look desperate.

  2. blondeelicious says:

    #9 and #10 are COMPLETELY off… I just don't get #9 but I too find bad grammar a turn off so what's the big deal? And if the guy from profile #10 IS into sports and that's his main interest, then why shouldn't he use his "describe yourself" space accurately?

    1. Catherine says:

      You must have missed the typo in the sentence complaining about grammar/spelling. That's what the red flag is, not the sentiment itself.

  3. flightturn says:

    ? So to decipher your advice, if he claims to be romantic funny and generous that’s a red flag? Sorry — you’ve lost me. What should we look for then — psycho, tight-fisted straight lacers?

  4. flightturn says:

    ? So to decipher your advice, if he claims to be romantic funny and generous that's a red flag? Sorry — you've lost me. What should we look for then — psycho, tight-fisted straight lacers?

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