Do Men Like Bitches?

Do nice girls finish last?
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Do Men Like Bitches?

Do nice girls finish last?

-Carrie Seim

Do Men Like Bitches?

“When he calls you back, act really cold,” my married friend H. orders. “Men love bitches.”

“But I don’t want to be a bitch,” I answer lamely. “I just want him not to take me for granted.”

“And I just want my kids to stop eating craft supplies,” she answers, as toddlers shriek in the background.

“Ugh…I thought I was done playing games.”

“Listen,” she says, dropping her voice an octave. “You’re not done playing games until there’s a ring on your finger.”

“I’m not looking for a ring. I’m just trying to sort out my Saturday night plans.”

“Stop being so nice, sweetie, guys don’t wa—Mallory Ann, glue sticks don’t go in mouths!!!”

The line goes dead. And I’m left alone to ponder my pitiful lack of bitchiness.

Read Flirting For Favors

Call me crazy, but my default nature when I’m dating someone I like is to, you know, be kind to him. Return his phone calls. Smooth over tensions. Avoid voodoo hexes.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize this whole Miss Nice Girl thing could be backfiring. In the past, all that forgiving and forgetting had only resulted in me forgiving a lot of bad boys who, in turn, forgot about me.

Maybe all this time I should have been difficult, demanding and as unpredictable as a Vegas slot machine. Is that what keeps men coming back for more?

Betty’s Gay BFF Brian Clark says that relationships are like rubber bands – they require a little resistance on both ends to stay strong. Perhaps my kindness had been leaving me limp in the relationship drama department. Was my sweet disposition just a boring penny slot that paid out every time?


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0 thoughts on “Do Men Like Bitches?

  1. Fashionista says:

    No, they don’t like bitches. They like girls who are confident and stand up for what they want. Don’t start being a bitch, just stop letting guys walk all over you if that’s how they’re making you feel!

  2. nycblonde says:

    I see men all the time being bitched at by girls and going back for more.

  3. mothermeryl says:

    Nice girls, like nice guys, finish last – sad but true.

  4. uptowngirl says:

    No man I want to date would want to date a bitch – and strong and bitchy are two very different things.

  5. bobbimariah says:

    if you are bitchy like nagging they run away but if you are bitchy as in ignoring, canceling on them, they like u more

  6. esolkneerod says:

    You can be assertive and let the guy know what you think and not take any B.S. without being a harpie bitch. Like the guy said, you don’t have to be a bitch, just a grownup.

  7. shaleeee says:

    Sadly, it seems true….

  8. Catca says:

    If you’re being a witch with a b to please a man or keep a relationship going and that is not who you are, will you be happy? Don’t worry about pleasing the man and worry about being in a relationship that you are happy in (and hopefully he is too). As your male friend said, that means communicating your needs, not being nasty in how you communicate them.

  9. bsassy says:

    I think men like strong and confident women which can come in all types of packages. Just not the nasty kind. You know when you’re being bitchy and when you are being strong. Trust your instincts women… we have really good ones but we just don’t listen to our own!

  10. queenana says:

    know what you want/like, always remain a lady, have compassion & pick your battles carefully. see your fella as just another person; would you act like a bitch with a coworker? a gf? treat him with respect & do exude confidence & self-respect.

  11. jeff092162 says:

    Actaly girls? We LOVE IT!!!!! The more she rides me the more I want her……

  12. GonnaLaughatYou says:

    I think you should tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. If he’s a total dick about it, go out with the gf’s and point out his shortcomings over some retro cocktails.

  13. SuzyScorp says:

    Trust me, men do NOT like a bitch! They would rather have a lamb than a lion! They like a nice girl as a wife, but a slut in the bedroom! Just ask any guy!!

  14. drunkgirl says:

    I agree with jeff092162…..yeah some men love bitches. I’m one and my wimp of a man? loves it, but I know I don’t speak for all men or women. The more I dominate mine the more he loves it and the more I love it !!!

  15. timmar68 says:

    There’s a big difference between strong and bitchy. I don’t know a single man who likes a bitch. In fact, when my single male friends have broken up with their girlfriends, the main reason they tell me is that it was because she was a bitch.

  16. connie1118 says:

    Sherry Argov wrote the book “Why men love bitches”…alot of it is true, but not in the picture that everyone is thinking. You can be a nice girl and not take crap from a guy that doesn’t call or stands you up, or let yourself get used for sex, or tell a guy your life’s story on the first date…just decide on how you want to be treated and don’t accept anything less…so if that’s a bitch, then count me in!

  17. moonhadley says:

    thank you queenana, said it all. I was married for 20yrs to a guy, never bitched. He cheated on me and left me for a total bitch, now he gets to live in hell every day with her (they fight all the time)…whatever, he wasn’t good enough for me, next!

  18. Addie says:

    What ever happen to being upfront and honest? If you want to play games you will get game players…I agree with the guy. Being able to truly communicate rocks!

  19. tweetybee says:

    I would not nesseserally say that men like bitches its just that some men choose to have different kinds of women and you cant always be the same way.Think about what your doing first and find what works for you and your man.be very very careful!!!

  20. Philldwill says:

    From a guys point of view I will say no, we do not like “bitches”. But ultimately I’m sure it’s the same way as with girls. Girls often tent to date douchebags. Us nice guys try to date, but we don’t seem “Confident” enough. I’m sure it’s the same way with some guys liking “bitches”, when you don’t feel important you’re more likely to continue trying to be important.

  21. dessie81 says:

    Ah, I’ve thought about this matter, did some research (you might call it dating) and here’s what I’ve figured out:

    Some men like emotionally unavailable women, women who don’t ever call, pout, flirt with other men, etc. (although “nagging” as men call it seems to always be a turn-off). I would say, stay clear of these guys. The better you treat them, the worse they treat you, and vice versa. You won’t be able to achieve harmony, and won’t be at the same wavelength.

    Some (more mature) men (and the ones you should be looking for) will reciprocate your good attitude.

    That doesn’t mean that you should force yourself to forgive or ignore big misgivings. I think the author of this article should call back and let her man know she needs some time to figure out how she feels about the matter of their fight. When she figures out how important it is, she can negotiate. It doesn’t have to just be “I want this…” which (apparently) makes her feel like a bitch. In a relationship there are always bargaining chips on both sides. My husband and I made a deal yesterday that I won’t invite smokers to visit, and when he’s going to be late from work he’ll call. Both of us are better off.

  22. shamrockblonde says:

    just be strong enough to not take any crap and accept the fact that you are deserving of a guy that respects you – be honest – with him and with yourself – no need to act like an ignorant loudmouth – just be a grownup as someone said – you cannot make anyone happy if you are not happy yourself – being a biotch won’t solve anything at all – it never does

  23. Melfunkshn says:

    I wouldn’t want to tell anyone to act like a bitch, especially if that’s not really your true nature. On the other hand, I’ve dumped guys in the past for being too nice. I had no respect for them.

  24. Seriouslyomgno says:

    Nope, don’t like bitches. Especially nagging bitches. Those are the worst. The first thing that comes into my mind when a girl is bitchy is, “The world would be a better place if they died a horrible death.” And it’s true, it would. Everyone here will write something like, “Oh that’s awful there are better ways to get along and no one should ever say that!” But we all know that’s bullshit and you’re just saying it for the sake of appearance since being meek is en vogue. I’m the only one who’s willing to say what we’re all thinking.

    As for confident, assertive, strong women – the more the better. That goes for men, too. How about we just agree that strong, confident, honest individuals = good, and weak, calculating, manipulative, bitchy = bad. Masculine = good. Feminine = bad. I really can’t see any positive qualities in being feminine that don’t already exist in being masculine. Stuff like compassion, love, etc., all exist in the masculine spectrum but without the bad aftertaste that comes with femininity. It’s almost as if feminism is bad-taste with a will towards dominance. Gross.

  25. Hayley_k says:

    i generally don’t like the b-word (there’s no male equivalent), but but people have to be careful not to confuse being assertive with being stubborn and being a pushover with being low-maintenance. If your assertive, you also have to be compromising, and if you really are low-maintenance (ie: don’t really care how things are done/who gets their way), I can see how that could be confused with passive aggressive or soft if you never seem to have an opinion. Either way, don’t pretend to be one or the other at the risk of your own happiness and be open about what you really want and what things you really do care about.

  26. ambatt says:

    Okay, whoa whoa whoa… It’s not about actually being a bitch. Being a bitch is never cool, never appropriate and NEVER attractive. Google the book, “Why Men Love Bitches”. The word ‘bitch’ is used in a satirical sense, not a literal one — men simply like women who know what they want and who they are, not the woman who whines or throws tantrums or treats other women awfully. A confident, compassionate, capable woman is the only REALLY attractive kind — and until we, as a gender in it’s entirety, actually figure that out, it’s going to be a hellish road of awful relationships.

  27. carbonware says:

    As a guy I can say, just like women there are all kinds of guys. Some of us like one thing some another. Most people want to be treated like adults and want you to be honest with them. Men who like bitches are often immature, ego driven, or weak and want a women to tell them what to do so they don’t have to think or decide. Think about the kind of man you want and how you want to be treated, now do the same. The golden rule applies even in dating. Respect him and be honest, not pushy, don’t nag, no one likes that and the more you do it the more it repels most guys. Be genuine so the guy your with knows who you really are. If it does not work out at least you know it was honest. Who wants to get stuck in a relationship or marriage with someone who was pretending to be something they are not, maybe that is one of the reasons so many couple break up, they find out who they really are far too late in the relationship and are surprised or disappointed or worse when the real you is revealed. Be yourself and be happy in it, the right guy will love you for it.

  28. labtec52 says:

    Hola: Bueno eso de Bitches,eso esta de moda en el mundo de personas, son personas inseguras que no saben lo que quiere,a mi me paso con mi pareja ella asia mi pero lo inportante de todo es salir de ay.

  29. darwido says:

    I hear men say they like confident women, not bitches, but I see them running to bitches, not confident women. Confident and bitchy are both obvious, so it’s not like I am confusing them. What men say and what men do are often two different things. Bitches will start berating, screaming, making scenes, being unreasonable, asking too much, and expecting men to read their minds, among other nasty things. I see men not only putting up with this, but running to it. Bitches are also very controlling, with men say they hate, but they run to it all the time. It’s amazing how men say that they are very simple creatures and easy to understand and please, but that seems to be a myth, as well. When a man acts like a bitch to me, I leave. Men run to it like a bear to honey. I know some really bitchy women who aren’t beautiful, rich, famous, or anything of the sort, and they have men clamouring for their attention and putting up with mistreatment that is far beyond anything I would put up with if I were a man. I’d rather be alone than put on an act, however. I don’t want to have to spend my life putting on a front in my own home (except maybe in bed, but it’s more of a courtesy, though). I’m not deceitful, and I refuse to be. If there’s no man out there who really does want an strong, confident, no-nonsense woman who wants an equal, not another child, then I’ll live without a man.

  30. KittyK says:

    I agree with #’s 6, 8 & 10. Sooo sad that we need to be cautious… which really translates into playing hard to get… when all we really want is to be free to be ourselves! :( Amazingly, though… the only time I am 100% successful at playing hard to get is when I don’t want to be caught!

  31. vdub4 says:

    I think it also depends on where you live… I will say this… being in Los Angeles, I see men with bitches EVERYWHERE… I don’t know if they stay with them for long, but they sure do follow them around like puppies. I think, if a girl is a bitch all the time, a guy will eventually leave her when her beauty fades… Thanks for another great article, Carrie!

  32. gmiller7512 says:

    I’ve never known any man who will put up with a “B” unless it’s for a one nite stand.
    I agree with the others who say there’s a difference between being strong or being a “B”!

  33. mstina says:

    ok baby girl now i asked the question to my boyfriend of three yra as of 8-6-10!! (now my fi’anceas of 5-6-10!!Now he said men like a women that can be a lady,but that can hold her own!! but u can be a bitch at the right time when it calls for it!! But not bitchy(nagging)all the time!! me dont like that,so which do u feel that u r!! if its not right correct it n see what happens then! then if its still not workn let it go!!(JUST HAVE CONFIDENCE&BE STRONG)

  34. mstina says:

    N THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS U STILL HAVE TO BE A LADY IN THE MEAN TIME!! N IF THE MAN DOESNT FEEL THAT U R WHAT HIS LOOKIN FOR LET HIM KEEP LOOKIN! BECAUSE U WILL FIND SOMEONE THAT WILL LIKE JUST THE WAY U R!!TAKE IT FROM ME, IT TOOK ME UNTIL I WAS 40YRS OLD TO GET THE RIGHT ONE( N I DIDNT LOOK WE MET EACH OTHER)

  35. silitalia says:

    Men like women they want to bed..witch, bitch, rich, hitched…doesn’t matter!!

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