Is it true you’re doing an upcoming reality series with your daughter Melissa?
Yes! It’s called Mother Knows Best. It based on one day when Melissa called me and said, “It was so nice to be in the same city with you when we did The Celebrity Apprentice. You must come back to LA.” So, I rented out my country house and put my New York apartment up for sale. The show is I’m going to try living in California and the question is: Can two very strong women live in the same house. Or what happens when your mother shows up at your door. Yes, we will live together and I’m a neatness freak. I want everything pretty. I will drive Melissa crazy in a week.
Now that you’re in LA, will you be partying with Lindsay Lohan?
You know I could make a joke, but I think it’s sad with Lindsay. But it will be a great movie in 20 years.
Not that we’re going to get into age here, but the question remains: Will you ever slow down?
No way, never, never, never. I love to work and I love to travel all over the country. I always say that I’ve seen the world compliments of jokes. How many people go to England and Australia and all the places I’ve been to in a lifetime? I’m on a mini-tour right now from Florida and it’s just horrific in one way. You can smell the oil out of my hotel window. The people are out of their minds and you know there are fewer tourists. BP should be put out of business, but let’s not get started.
Why do a documentary based on your life? I heard early on that you said thanks, but no thanks.
I never wanted to do a documentary because I hate those regular documentaries where you have six people saying, ‘Oh, she’s so wonderful. Oh, she’s the best.’ What crap! But this time the director was a daughter of a friend of mine. She did another documentary and it was very serious stuff. She said, ‘I want you. And this certainly won’t be a puff piece.’ What I didn’t want was some gloss over saying, ‘Oh, Joan, and Johnny remained good friends in the end or all that sh—that never happened.