2. Use your body, baby: Using your body to flirt does not have to be slutty or silly. Remember how you flirted when you were twenty-two? Much of what attracted those boys in bars is still what attracts men in Starbucks.
Be subtle, not aggressive. Stand straight in front of him and make eye contact, be playful with a little teasing (stay away from sarcasm), brush your hand against his arm or shoulder, twirl or flip your hair, and use open hand gestures.
Responding to this type of behavior from a woman is instinctive, ladies. Men can’t help themselves.
3. Show off: This may be the hardest part for you; it is for many women. We aren’t used to talking about ourselves because we’ve been told it’s selfish and braggadocios. (Yay! I get to use that word!)
You’ve got to get over this. You want to be memorable and enticing. He’s only going to know how fabulous and confident you are if you get some of your shiny stuff out.
Squeeze in mentions of your unique or shared interests, accomplishments, interesting life experiences, kind-heartedness, or passions.
Don’t tell him long stories. Keep it brief, and if he’s a match for you, he will want more.
4. Show clear interest: A simple “I had a great time talking with you, Bob. It would be nice to do it again” is all it takes to let him know that you’re open. Help him feel safe and appreciated, and if he’s interested he will make a move.
Notice that I’m not suggesting you ask him out. Let him do that.
One last note: Remember that if he doesn’t go for your attempts, he probably knows something you don’t about why you’re not a good match. (He’s married, gay, not looking for a nice girl, is mad at women, etc.)
Don’t talk yourself out of giving this a shot. You’ll get better at it as you practice more. And who knows? The next time you flirt with a guy, he may be your perfect match!
Bobbi Palmer writes for Divine Caroline