Geek Girl: A Crab Named David Hasselhoff
Plus: A Norwegian fish mystery, untangling the Zelda timeline, and more interesting, odd news!
-Lucia Peters and PJ Gach
It was an interesting week with everyone trying to recover from the holidays. Some of us had a short work week and some of us worked all week long. Scientifically inclined brains, however, never stopped working. In fact, one of our friends was annoying trying to figure out odd algorithyms about tinsel…but that’s another story.
We’ve disovered Zelda’s timeline, said good-bye to a master swordsmen and found a hairy- chested crab. Oh, and there’s a tea wizard too!
Read on for all the news!
RIP: Bob Anderson, Swordmaster Extraordinaire (1922 – 2012)
Unless you have a habit of paying obsessively close attention to sword fighting sequences in movies (like, um, me), you probably don’t recognize Bob Anderson’s name. But I can guarantee you that you’ve seen his work again… and again… and again. Bob Anderson, you see, was quite possibly one of the greatest swordmasters Hollywood has ever seen. It is therefore with great sadness that I note that Bob Anderson passed away on January 1, 2012 at the age of 89.
Bob began his career as a competitive fencer, representing Britain at the Olympics in 1952 and at the World Championships in 1950 and 1953 as a sabre fencer. After he retired from the world of competitive fencing, he made the transition to film; for his first gig, he coached Errol Flynn in 1953’s The Master of Ballantrae. He also earned an unlikely nickname at this time: “The Man Who Stabbed Errol Flynn.” As you might guess, Bob accidentally stabbed Errol in the thigh while rehearsing for a scene. In spite of this little mishap, though, Bob went on to become a stunt performer and choreographer of the highest caliber. Among many other notable performances, he fought Darth Vader’s battles in the original Star Wars trilogy, and he choreographed the wonderfully suspenseful and creative fights in films ranging from Highlander, to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, to the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. He was working on Peter Jackson’s next Tolkien flick, the much-anticipated adaptation of The Hobbit, when he died. He will truly be missed.
I used to fence when I was younger (sabre, like Bob), and watching Bob’s films taught me as much about the sport as my actual coach did—more, in fact, as I through his films, I learned how fights work as a function of storytelling. In honor of his memory, here’s my absolute favorite Bob Anderson fight sequence of all time: Inigo Montoya vs. Westley/the Man in Black from The Princess Bride. RIP, Bob.
The Hoff Is A Crab
Scientists exploring the deep sea vents of the Antarctic made a startling discovery. They found a new species of Yeti crab. Dubbed the Hoff, this new species of crab startled everyone. As Professor Alex Rogers of Oxford University’s Department of Zoology explains,” The yeti crab was first described in 2005 in the South Pacific. It was called the yeti crab because it had very hairy limbs and hairy claws.
“Our yeti crabs had hairy chests. There was a suggestion on the ship we should call them Hasselhoff crabs. It was a tremendous animal. It was about 15 to 16 centimetres long. And they occur in huge numbers around these vents with densities of up to 600 per square metre.
“They literally occur in heaps and they look quite sinister because from a distance with their very pale white colour they almost look like a big pile of skulls on the seabed.”
Now David Hasselhoff or his hairy chest will be remembered in posterity by his very hairy chest.
Check out the underwater video of the crabs.
A Fishy, Norwegian Mystery
Remember last New Year’s Eve when 5,000 birds mysteriously crashed to the ground and died in Beebe, Arkansas? Well, it happened again. For real. The current working theory is that fireworks disoriented the birds, causing them to fly into things. But you know what’s even weirder? 20 tons of fish also died on New Year’s Eve this year, though not in Beebe (that would have been REALLY weird, as Beebe is landlocked). Nope: These fish washed up dead on a beach at Kvennes in Nordreisa, northern Norway.
Cue the first of the apocalyptic events of 2012.
Scientists speculate that the fish died for one of three possible reasons:
1. The fish (which, for the curious, were herring) could have been trapped in an oxygen depleted area by the tides and died essentially of fishy asphyxiation;
2. They may have been attempting to move away from a large predator fish, accidentally landing themselves ashore;
3. Disease, stormy weather, etc.: That is, natural causes.
Though all of these explanations are perfectly reasonable, oddly, I find the third the hardest to believe. ALL of them died of the SAME disease at the EXACT SAME TIME? I’m resisting making a “fishy” pun here, but, well… you know what I mean.
Researchers are hard at work trying to pin down exactly what happened, and in the meantime, local authorities have begun cleaning up the beach. Is it too soon to make a sushi joke?
Tea Pouring Wizard
If you thought that only wizards you could find were at Hogwarts, think again. There’s a tea salesman/maker who defies gravity while making tea. Rather than trying to explain, just watch him at work making “pulled tea:”
Oh, So THAT’S How the Timeline for The Legend Of Zelda Works…
For years, gaming nerds and Nintendo enthusiasts have been puzzling over one very important thing: Just how exactly does the timeline work in The Legend of Zelda? Personally, I’d always assumed that there WAS no timeline; I figured Nintendo just kept recycling characters, weapons, and situations to create more or less the same game over and over and over again, pretty much always with satisfactory results (though I still think Ocarina of Time is the best one. That’s just me, though). But hey, guess what? It turns out that there is, in fact, an internal chronology! And it makes NO SENSE! Hoorah!
Or at least, Nintendo’s newly-released official timeline makes no sense, mostly because it’s just so ridiculously complicated and involves several different alternate universes. In the event that you want to destroy your brain by trying to pull it apart, you can take a look at it here.
In the event that you DON’T want to destroy your brain, though, let me point you to this lovely new rendering by artist Zac Gordon. It makes sense of everything—including the alternate timeline in which Link becomes a breakfast cereal. Finally! Answers, at last!
I realize that the fine print here may be a little too tiny for you to read. As such, I shall now supply you with a link to a bigger version. Now go grab your boomerang and get dungeon-hopping. Zelda’s waiting.
Lucia Peters is BettyConfidential’s Associate Editor.
PJ Gach is Senior Editor: Style + Beauty at BettyConfidential.