Get Your Go-To People in Place

Years pass, social circles change and close friends fade away. Maybe it's time to assess your friendships and reinforce your support system.
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Get Your Go-To People in Place

Years pass, social circles change and close friends fade away. Maybe it’s time to assess your friendships and reinforce your support system.

-Art Markman, Ph.D., YouBeauty.com

friends

When you are in high school and college, your social circle is set. You have people you see in class, friends to eat lunch with, people to hang out with on a Saturday night. If something goes wrong, there is a whole list of people you can call to talk about it.

After graduation, though, it seems like your social circle starts to compress. The modern workplace is often more work than social time. That means that you may spend over a third of your day with people that you don’t really know that well. When you get into a serious relationship, your social circle can get even tighter. You end up spending so much time with your partner that you don’t have much time to keep up friendships.

These days, many people trade quality friendships for Facebook friends. You may have 1,000 connections in a social network program, but that does not mean that you have many deep connections.

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That is too bad. It is also a potential problem.

Ask yourself, if you had to share a great success at work, who would you call first? If you had a serious problem that you needed to work through, who would you contact? If you had a couple of extra hours on a weekend, who would you call to hang out?

If the answer to those questions is the same person in each case, then you need to think about finding a broader set of connections.

It is healthy to have a few close friends. It is great to be able to get a second opinion when you are struggling with a decision and to be able to share your good news with a few people who will really care about it. It is also great to have people that you know can rely on you when they need something.

If you are like many people, though, and you find that your social world has gotten too small, get back on the road to making some good friends. Here are a few suggestions.

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