Guys Answer: Why Did They Get Married?
It’s a simple question, but you’ll be surprised with what some men had to say.
My first marriage lasted less than five minutes.
I was seven-years old and married the girl next door in a very elaborate ceremony in her parent’s basement. I wore a custom-fitted construction paper tuxedo designed and taped to my body by my sister and my soon-to-be sister-in-law. My bride wore a toilet paper dress. Our sisters presided over the ceremony, and eventually announced us husband and mummified-wife.
While my childhood wedding may have been rather silly and unsuccessful, it goes to show you how important the institution of marriage is in our society (at least in theory), even at a young age.
When I was growing up, I remember hearing lots of talk about “The One” – you know, that perfect person who you are meant to marry. “The One” you are going to grow old with and will love and cherish for the rest of your life and live happily ever after in a fairytale world.
For some guys, that’s actually the way it works.
“I never thought I was the marrying kind,” Rob, 29, a service technician in South Carolina, says. “Then I met Laura, and we fell in love, and I had all these previous experiences which helped clarify things. I think if I’m being really honest with myself, I was thinking in the first month or so of meeting Laura that she was ‘the one.’ She’s pretty much admitted the same thing, but it was months before we said, ‘I love you,’ and I waited 3 weeks to even kiss her, because I knew that this would be the last woman I would ever court, and so there was no rush.”
Zach, a 27-year-old New York City teacher, knew he was going to marry his wife after living with her for a year and a half before proposing. “I had met someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with,” he says. “She would be a good partner for whatever life threw at me and she loved me for who I am, flaws and all.”
For men who have found the woman they want to marry, popping the question isn’t where the decision-making ends – there’s also the whole issue of timing.
“I’m a bit practical, so I knew the right time was when I could afford a ring!” Landon, a 29 year-old attorney from Michigan, says. “This was a decision that had been made long before, we just needed to be in a position, financially, to actually get married.”
My own dad, now 56, proposed to my mom when he was 27 in order to start a new chapter in his life. He had achieved financial security and was ready for the next step.
“I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her,” he says. “Our values were the same and we had similar life plans. I felt like I wanted to start a family, so I asked permission from her father because it was tradition at that time.”