And that’s another reason guys are wary about talking to a friend’s ex. He doesn’t want to come off as a snitch or be put in a situation where he says something completely inappropriate or has to sit through a conversation with an ex ripping on his friend.
“I don’t talk to any of my buddies ex-girlfriends after they breakup,” Alex Monroe, founder and editor-in-chief of GetYourBizSavvy.com, says. “I just get a weird vibe talking to them. I guess it depends on the break up, but once it’s over, talking to them is not the same.”
For Greg, a 29-year-old IT Analyst for a New York Investment bank, it comes down to whom he knew first. “If one of my guy friends dated someone and I knew her only through him and they broke up, I wouldn’t stop talking to the girl outright, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to call and hang out with her either. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a ‘bros before hoes’ thing, but I would never want to not be able to hang out with one of my best friends or make it uncomfortable for them if I had made plans with an ex of his.”
Greg made sure to point out that if the situation was turned around and a female friend of his broke up with a guy he became friends with, he’d stop talking to that guy since he knew him through her.
I just hope no more of my guy friends break up with their girlfriends. I don’t want to be stuck in this lose-lose situation again.
Tell us: Have any friends of guys you dated completely cut you out once your relationship with his friend was over?
Justin DeMarco is a New York City-based writer. He co-wrote Hockey: The Musical with Rick Wilson, which premiered at the Toronto Fringe Festival in 2008.