Help! Save Me From a Sexless Marriage!

How do I avoid the fate of Kelsey and Camille Grammar?

Help! Save Me From a Sexless Marriage!

How do I avoid the fate of Kelsey and Camille Grammar?

-Melissa Chapman,

Kelsey and Camille Grammer

I’ll be the first one to come clean — after 12 years of marriage, a swinging from the chandeliers, tie-my-wrists-to-the-bed-posts sex session is a rarity. I am lucky if my husband and I get to physically connect on a bi-monthly basis. And yes I feel guilty, anxious and slightly panicked over the state of my current-virtually sex-free relationship and I wonder, are my husband and I more like glorified roomies than husband and wife?

Of course I know I am not alone in my waning physical relationship. In fact, Camille Grammar recently admitted that she and her now ex-husband Kelsey Grammar hadn’t had sex for two years before they divorced. So what’s in the water with us married folk and why aren‘t we getting it on more?

Read Mean Betty On Camille Grammer’s Need To Share

I can’t speak for Kelsey and Camille –personally I am deeply, madly and passionately in love with my husband. Of course feeling those things does not make getting down to the dirty deed any easier, especially when I have a 5-year-old little boy who, despite having a big boy bed, manages to sleep in between my husband and me on a nightly basis. And though I can’t use the excuse of breastfeeding a small baby as the reason I’m not spending more time under the covers with my man, I will say this: being a mom saddled with so many responsibilities and issues does cut into my sex schedule. And for those of you moms with small kids, who think it’s the diapers and bottles that are keeping you and your husband from getting your sex on let me say this: as your kids get older their demands and needs get far more complicated and cannot be wished away with a quick diaper change, a kiss on a boo-boo and some magic fairy dust.

I also know having that kind of physical reconnection, when it does happen for us and we can manage to make the effort and time, bonds us on so much more than a physical level. When you’ve been with the same person for 12 years and shared every intimate detail of his world, sex is anything but perfunctory — it’s akin to coming home and reigniting that flame that has kept you together.

So I ask you dear readers… what can us married folk do to make sure we’re doing it more than twice a month because clearly, at least in my case, I don’t want to end up like Camille and Kelsey!

Melissa ChapmanMelissa Chapman blogs about her marriage and everything in between at Her work has appeared in The Staten Island Advance,, ABC News, BlogHer, Baby Center, Momtourage, Lifetime Moms, Babble, The Washington Post, Time Out NY Kids and iVillage.


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0 thoughts on “Help! Save Me From a Sexless Marriage!

  1. Married couples have to make a concerted effort to spend time together (alone … no kids, no group dates, etc). It has to be scheduled, just as you would a Dr.’s appointment or it won’t happen. They need time to see each other as interesting individuals and no one can do this unless they are able to be alone together at some point (snoring together doesn’t count). I wrote an article on keeping the excitement in your relationship here: Hope it helps!

  2. you guys are just lazey i do it 2 3x a week i got 3 kids i say bedtime take a shower sometimes with him and were happy if your not giving ur man any fine with me there are plenty of strippers and hookers to give them what ur too lazy and bizzy too

  3. Physical intimacy is the glue which holds a marriage together. It’s great that you and your husband have a loving relationship but need passion to keep it going. Take it from someone who endured a sexless (and loveless) marriage for 15 years.) Take a weekend away from your kid, pay a surprise visit to your husband at work. It will be worth it!

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