How to Handle a Big Fight With Your Guy
Understanding how you react to a fight can help you calm down and makeup faster.
You’re on the couch and he’s in the bed, but neither of you is sleeping. After the heated argument over your summer vacation destination, he stomped angrily upstairs and you sit sobbing on the couch. He wants to go to camping with tents and backpacks and you want to stay at a resort by the ocean.
Arguments are part of every relationship, but how we respond to them is crucial. Our reaction to conflict or any stressful event is based on our life experiences and genetics. We all have those friends who are so laid back that nothing affects them and we also have friends who become frazzled over the smallest situations. But to successfully manage conflict, we need to manage our stress first. If you cannot quickly calm yourself down, you will not be able to hear what your partner is really saying, so you will have difficulty resolving the disagreement.
How do you stay calm when your partner is doing or saying something that is triggering an emotion? The very first thing is to disengage and allow some time for both of you to simmer down and reflect. Because we don’t all respond to stressful events the same way, it is important to know your stress style, your unique response when faced with frustrating or upsetting situations. When scientist, Hans Selye introduced the “fight or flight” theory, he described either fighting to defend yourself or fleeing to get away. Read More…
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