ASK REAL GUYS
I Can’t Read Him!
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I live with my boyfriend, 25, and his family, who is great. But I have been having problems reading my boyfriend, Charlie. He doesn’t say much, and he doesn’t have a real expressive personality at all. I can’t stand not knowing how he is feeling and what he is thinking. Most of the time, I can’t even tell what kind of mood he is in. We tend to be able to text each other and work things out better that way than to actually be face to face for some reason. I love him, and he says she loves me. I just don’t know how to deal with not being able to read him. I feel like I need a “Charlie guide” that I can go buy from Barnes and Noble. I only wish! We both have stated that we want this to work. So why is it that I can’t understand him/read him. He just seems shut off a lot. I do understand that he has had two past relationships, each that lasted three years. I myself got out of a five-year relationship. We have talked about not letting the past come into ours, but I think he is staying shut off due to fear of being hurt. So he hides/ covers up his feelings. And it irritates me because I don’t know if I am doing things right or wrong or if he adores me or is annoyed by me…etc. Please give me some insight or thoughts that you may have about this whole situation. God knows that I need it. I want it to work so much. I think he is worth it.
Avery: From what you’re telling me, your boyfriend is not giving you what you want and need. If him being able to talk to you about what he wants, needs and is feeling is important to you, then you must be direct with him and tell him this. Then you must give him some time (a month or so) to work on this. If, after time, patience, understanding and talking, you STILL aren’t getting what you need, you may want to consider breaking up since ultimately you won’t feel complete in your relationship with him.