I Was A Brazilian Wax Virgin

Oh the pain, the pain! Was the wax worth it?
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I Was A Brazilian Wax Virgin

Oh the pain, the pain! Was the wax worth it?

-PJ Gach

Completely Bare

I remember years ago watching Sex and the City, when Carrie went to LA for her book tour and got her first Brazilian. She didn’t call it that; she implied that she was “bare down there.” I didn’t pay much attention, but my girlfriends did, and as fast as you can pull a cloth strip from your skin, everyone was doing it.

Everyone but me. I had been sticking with the basic bikini wax. That is, when I remembered and had time. Truthfully, the only time I even bothered was when I was dating. No one complained that I wasn’t bald, so I didn’t bother.

What made me change my mind and decide to do it? Curiosity, plain and simple. I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. A Brazilian, if you don’t know, is when they take off everything “down there.” Yes, we’re talking waxing your labia majora and the skin between your butt cheeks.

I made an appointment for my first Brazilian at Completely Bare, in New York City, a salon with a celebrity clientele and a reputation for giving one of the best Brazilian treatments ever. They even do vajazzling- and no, I’m not ever going to do that.

Read Should You Vajazzle Your Vajayjay?

Completely Bare has four locations, and I went to their downtown spot on lower Fifth Avenue. As I got closer and closer to the salon, two things happened: My heart started to race uncontrollably and my legs temporarily stopped moving. Luckily, the salon has a soothing lounge area that’s decorated in white with pink and purple M+Ms in large bowls. (Personally, I think that wherever you go, there should be large vats of free M+Ms. Just a thought.)

My technician, Rebecca, a slim, friendly woman with long brown hair, introduced herself and showed me to the treatment room. The treatment room was long and narrow; about the size of a nice walk-in closet. It too, was decorated in white. There was a long narrow bed — the type you see in salons across the country, luxe and not. She told me to get take everything off below the waist, “Really? Everything?” I exclaimed. She nodded and smiled.

Before she left, she told me that there were wipies that I could use to make sure that I was completely clean. She walked out, and I stared at the wipies lying smack dab in the middle of the bed. What the hell have I gotten myself into?


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21 thoughts on “I Was A Brazilian Wax Virgin

  1. kitty says:

    LOL! This is hilarious. And this is one of those life experiences I just might have to miss out on…

  2. Yay heels says:

    I love my Brazilian wax- she’s being silly!

  3. booksorclothes says:

    Kathy Griffin just got one on TV and she was screaming. I wonder if PJ screamed like Kathy or if it was worse?? She did mentioned that she went temporarily blind.

  4. NYCdogmommy says:

    Brazilian is the only way to go.

  5. nycblonde says:

    She went to the right place- Completely Bare is amazing. They’re so friendly there.

  6. bsassy says:

    @Yay heels… who loves a Brazilian wax? Really?!? These are the most painful thing ever invented! Ever! Clearly by a man no doubt ;) But I have to agree with PJ cause it does make you feel sexier. I just wish it didn’t hurt so darn much!!! For the West Coast gals, Pink Cheeks is the best with a big celeb cliental also ;)
    Thanks for the funny article… you made me laugh recounting my own experience with the waxer!

  7. emixam says:

    ROTFLMAO! Great story PJ!

  8. Fashionista says:

    Haha this is really funny!

  9. funtohavearound says:

    I did the brazilian once. i decided the regular bikini wax works just fine and with less embarrassment.

  10. weetziebat says:

    This is just not worth it! Kudos to you for going through it, PJ, but they couldn’t pay me to have it done…Well, maybe if they paid me $1,000 or so lol.

  11. princesstracy says:

    ive never been waxed so i wouldent know but i dont know if i want all that pain

  12. sweetchuckie says:

    This was funny! Now I know that Brazilian is not the way to go for me! Too much pain!

  13. shewalk says:

    Funny story! Ouch, I would never do that!

  14. pogmathoin says:

    No way! I don’t care who likes it, going thru that pain is not worth it. I think sexy is a state of mind, and I can’t imagine that going thru that would change how I feel about myself.

  15. saldav83 says:

    I have never had a wax job of any kind. I still don’t know if thats good or bad!! LOL I think I would go through the pain if it lasted long enough, but at age 46 & married 27 years I think I will just stick to my normal.

  16. shaleeee says:

    I think Laser…..it’s permanent…well sort of….

  17. OldWrangler says:

    I, personally, like grass on the playground. And shouldn’t a pussy have fur?

  18. germie says:

    I’ve never had a Brazilian Wax either, but I am now looking into some local salons for my “first time.” I am tired of shaving so perhaps it’s time to join the rest of the world.

    Thanks for the information on what it’s really like.

  19. CKtootit says:

    This is a great story… good for her for powering through it! Waxing can be a helluva ordeal, but I think it’s definitely worth it! If you’d like, check out my article on TOOTIT.com on waxing and other hair removal options: http://tootit.com/2011/10/for-your-vagina-when-shaving-isnt-cutting-it/

    Thanks!

  20. sugar wax says:

    Good story.But in my opinion waxing is a good idea.Its leave skin shiny and silky.

  21. lena says:

    I loved this. Funny and true…it is almost a spiritual experience. Once you go Brazilian you never go back -awesome!

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