“If It Was Easy They’d Call The Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon!” Q&A with Jenna McCarthy
In which Jenna McCarthy’s husband interviews her about her latest book, If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.
-April Daniels Hussar
Author Jenna McCarthy’s new book If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married makes its debut on October 4. It’s a MUST READ, whether you’re married, un-married, or have ever known anyone who was married.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I already had a stomach ache from laughing after reading the first six pages … of the introduction. From Jenna’s in-depth exploration of the “Man Cold” to her brutally honest, yet hilarious accounts of her own domestic squabbles to the helpful vignettes sprinkled liberally through the pages titled “At Least You’re Not Married to Him”, Jenna’s book will make you laugh, cry and maybe—just maybe—even appreciate your own guy. A little bit. But why speak for the book, when Jenna’s book trailer speaks for itself?
To commemorate the book’s official debut, we thought it would be fun to ask Jenna’s husband Joe—who is affectionately immortalized in the book—to come up with a few deep and hard-hitting questions about men, marriage and the meaning of wedded bliss for his wife. Instead, we got this:
JOE: I couldn’t help noticing that your title says “the sex-obsessed, not-so-handy man you married,” not the one you—Jenna McCarthy—married. That wasn’t an accident, right?
JENNA: Of course not, honey. You know as well as I do that you’re only one of those things.
JOE: I am pretty handy, aren’t I?
JENNA: I don’t call you MacGyver for nothing!
JOE: Are you sort of hoping people will think that’s you on the cover? Not because her/your head is in the oven, but those are some sweet legs.
JENNA: So what are you saying? Those Photoshopped, stock-photography legs are more attractive than my legs? The legs that carried the body that carried your children?
JOE: O-kay, moving on. Of all of the millions of things that I do to annoy you—and I know there are millions because you detail them frequently and you also wrote a 300 page book about them—is there any one in particular that is slightly more annoying than the rest?
JENNA: Wow, tough question! I’d have to say of all of the many, many maddening things you do, that get-to-the-point hand gesture you make when I’m talking is the worst.
JOE: Yeah, sorry about that. But you have to admit you do talk a lot, and sometimes I start falling into a coma in the middle of one of your stories. I’m mostly just doing that to stay awake. But I still love you.
JENNA: Gee, thanks.
JOE: No problem. So you’ve said in interviews that writing this book has made you even happier in our marriage. What do you mean by that?
JENNA: You sound a little defensive, dear. Look, I always knew I scored when I married you, but honestly, until you hear stories of what other women are living with on a daily basis—from back hair-ripping to nipple flicking to the guy who goes postal when his wife steps on the bath mat with wet feet—you don’t always remember to count your blessings. I mean, sure you’re annoying, but now I realize it could be much, much worse. Plus you’ve seen me naked and you still love me and tell me I’m hot, so I’m thinking I am pretty lucky.
JOE: What are your wildest fantasies—
JENNA: Really? You‘re trying to turn this interview into Penthouse Forum?
JOE: I was trying to ask you, what are your wildest fantasies for this book?
JENNA: Oh, right. Sorry. Let’s see, that it sells ten million copies and then they spin it into a sitcom starring Kristen Wiig as me and Ryan Reynolds as you—well he’s a little young so either him or the guy who plays Phil Dunphy on Modern Family, not that you’re a dork but you still kind of remind me of him—and then I write the sequel and the sitcom sweeps the Emmys and we live happily ever after. Not that I’ve given it much thought.
JOE: I’m writing the rebuttal book. Any title suggestions?
JENNA: How about: “What Were You Thinking? Living With and Loving the Diet Coke-Addicted, Shoe-Obsessed, Never-Stops-Talking Woman You Married?”
JOE: Wow, you’re good.
JENNA: Thanks. I try.
Jenna McCarthy is the author of If It Was Easy They’d Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married (Berkley Books, October 4, 2011). (Please note it says the blah-blah-blah man you married, not the one she married.) You can find out more about Jenna, her books and how she survived tanorexia on her website.