ASK REAL GUYS
Is he just telling me what he thinks I want to hear?
Dear ASK REAL GUYS: I met this guy through an online dating site. We seemed to click really well right from the start and have a good time and enjoy each other’s company. We met only three months ago, and we don’t spend a lot of time together–maybe once or twice a week. He’s made comments to me that have stuck in my mind. For example, after looking at a new condo he said that place would be way more room than what we would need. One night he laid in bed and told me that everything he owns (which is a lot, he’s very wealthy) is mine too. What’s his is mine, he said. Every time he sees me he tells me how much he misses me, and I can tell he seems to be very excited to see me. Here is where I’m confused. He can go days or even sometimes a week or week and a half without calling, sending an e-mail or texting me. Then suddenly I’ll hear from him again. We’ve never discussed what kind of relationship this is, and I’m not certain what he is really looking for. When I’m with him he makes me feel like a Goddess, yet he can go so long without making contact and it confuses me as to where I stand in his life.
I recently told him I am leaving the area. Since then he has made less and less contact with me. In all honesty if I thought he was serious about me, I wouldn’t be leaving. I don’t want to tell him this for fear he’s just playing a game with me, and I will look like an idiot. I’m leaving soon, and I know I will miss him. Can you please tell me from a guy’s point of view here, what the heck is going on? He’s wealthy, good looking and a blast to be with. I know he could have any girl he wants and many at a time if he wanted. I just don’t know what he wants and am really afraid to ask. I get the feeling a part of him is looking for someone to be happy with and a part of him still likes his single bachelor life. He has mentioned that he finds me very easy to talk to and he’s never hit it off with anyone as quickly as he has with me. However, there is so much I don’t know about him to know if he’s being honest with me or telling me what he thinks I want to hear. Your help would be greatly appreciated as quickly as possible. Thanks.
Steven: It sounds like he is just not that interested in you. Most likely there are other women that he is dating. This may be hard to hear and difficult to accept but better to know the truth. If you want, you could have an upfront conversation with him, however, ultimately as we all know actions speak louder than words and his actions and lack of action give you an idea of how interested he is. Whatever you do, don’t rationalize and put up with something that down deep is not the type and level of relationship you really want. At least you are realizing this now and you can move on to find the man that you deserve.