• Talk Dirty
o If you are communicating openly about sex, you might as well sneak in some dirty talk. Cluing him in to what will do the trick is the best way to make him a better lover.
o “When you’re fooling around, tell him how you want to be touched in a sex tone, like “I get so turned on when you rub my clit,” “a little to the left,” “faster,” or “I love gentle licks,” says sexuality educator and Good in Bed expert Amy Levine.
• Use Your Body
o Get hands-on with your communication by taking his hand in yours, placing it where you want, and guiding him with the pressure, motion, and rhythm you crave. “This is best done in carnal configurations that maximize the possibility for clitoral stimulation like woman-on-top or doggy style,” explains Levine.
o The added bonus: you know what you like…so you can best guide him to those areas.
• Know Your Body
o By knowing your erogenous areas and trying positions that stroke them just right, you can maximize your pleasure and show him the map to your body. You’ll never be able to experience your maximum pleasure threshold if you haven’t tried finding it on your own body.
o The more comfortable you are with your body, the more comfortable you’ll be to communicate about those likes and dislikes with your partner.
o Once you know your body, try positions that focus on your erogenous areas – like your G-spot, which often gets stimulated when he’s thrusting behind you.
Sure, once you train your guy to be the perfect lover for you, you’ll be in sexual bliss –and he’ll officially be the man of your dreams. But don’t forget to enjoy the ride along the way. Experimenting with different positions and stimulation points can add just as much excitement and pleasure to the sexual experience as the end result.
Kristen Mark, MSc, is currently completing her PhD in Health Behavior with concentrations in Human Sexuality and Statistics at Indiana University. She is an Associate Instructor for Health and Human Sexuality courses at IU and is a Project Coordinator for the Center for Sexual Health Promotion. Kristen’s research is largely focused on sexuality in the context of relationships, maintaining sexual desire, and sexual quality, pleasure, and satisfaction. For more of Kristen, please visit www.goodinbed.com