Did Ellen try to pull an intervention on Taylor? Kittens, did Ellen try to do something sneaky to the country cutie? You see, when Taylor appeared on the Ellen Show to promote Red, Ellen showed photos of exes and some guys (with the exception of Rob Lowe and Danny Devito) that she might’ve dated (yes, kittens, we’re talking about Corey Montieth). At one point, Taylor curled up her fists, shook them up and down, and screamed, “Stop it, stop it, stop!” she screams. “This makes me feel so bad about myself. Every time I come up here you put a different dude up on the screen. “
Taylor, Meanie hates to break it to you, but it’s really not a good idea to buy a house next to a guy who you’ve only dated for a month or two. It sort of gives the guy the impression that you’re desperate. And if the guy is Connor Kennedy, who is only 18, and you’re 22, it also makes you seem just a tad… Meanie would like to be tactful here. She really would. But Taylor? You appear to be wacked out and having an issue with reality.
Lest you think Meanie is just being mean, though, kittens, this is what she told Katie Couric during her much ballyhooed and publicized interview: Taylor said, “I don’t know how to have a normal relationship because I try to act normal and love from a normal place and live a normal life, but there is sort of an abnormal magnifying glass, like telescope lens, on everything that happens between me and anybody else. So I don’t know how to do that correctly or anything. I don’t really know that much about love, it turns out.”
Kittens, can we get as the cool kids say, “real” for a moment? If you were to strip away Taylor Swift’s fame away from her, what do you get? You don’t get a cutesy gal just pining away for love; you get a passive-aggressive chick who’s more in love with the idea of love then in having an actual relationship. Lambies, buying a house next to a boyfriend of a scant few months seems more Fatal Attraction than adorable.
Kittens, if Taylor was someone you knew — say, a good friend of yours — you might’ve done what Ellen did (minus the bell) to point out to your dear bud that she keeps running from one guy to another. You might give your gal pal a cup of tea or a large cocktail and explain that if she doesn’t take the time to get to know herself, who she really is, she’s going to become a professional victim. You know the type kittens; they’re the gals who are only happy when they’re miserable. Instead of writing songs that’ll bring them in millions, they just whine 24/7 about the latest guy who just “didn’t get me.” What happens in the end is that people run the opposite way when they see them walking down the street.
You’d start to wonder if you’re friend is either actively looking for a loser dude or stalking them to say “yes” to a date. You’d slowly stop respecting them as a person and start tuning them out of your life.
Now Taylor has the gift of creating music that can capture your ears. The thing is, if the story she’s telling is the same one over and over and over again, how long will it be before the fans start to tune out.
If only Ellen’s intervention had worked, we could stop hearing about how stupid Taylor’s latest boyfriend is and maybe get a great song about a healthy relationship. It’s kind of sad that Taylor would rather write about how awful these guys are to her instead of investing some time and money in a good therapist.
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