Mean Betty: Demi's Not Taking The Divorce Sobbing Into Her Tissues!

Mean Betty hears Demi Moore's planning on taking Ashton Kutcher to the cleaners.

Mean Betty: Demi’s Not Taking The Divorce Sobbing Into Her Tissues!

Mean Betty hears Demi Moore’s planning on taking Ashton Kutcher to the cleaners.

-Mean Betty

  ashton kutcher and demi  moore

Oh lambkins, gather round for a big life lesson! If you’re ever scorned by your partner, do what Meanie hears Demi Moore is planning to do to Ashton Kutcher: take him to the cleaners!

Yes, pets, the Daily Mail is reporting that Demi, despite a tightly-sewn prenuptial agreement, is out for blood. When it comes to celebrity men, blood equals money. Demi intends to clean up. And why not? Poor Demi’s last memorable filmic appearance was in a cameo in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. Oh, Demi’s been in quite a few movies since then, but they’ve been total blips in the collective consciousness of pop culture. Raise your hand if you saw her stunning turn as Detective Tracy Atwood in Mr. Brooks, or her roles in The Joneses (critically slammed), Bunraku, or Another Happy Day. Shucks, you missed them too? And such a critically (cough, cough) acclaimed actress too.

Anywhoo kittens, this alleged upcoming lawsuit will definitely keep Demi in the news for quite awhile. And who knows? Maybe during the suit, she can grab a guest appearing role in Law and Order, just like Sharon Stone!

But kittens, Mean Betty digresses. You see when Demi divorced Bruce Willis and married her second hubby, Ashton, she had amassed quite a fortune. Between her roles in Strip Tease, G.I. Jane and producing all three Austin Powers movies she earned around $46 million dollars. Her divorce settlement from Bruce Willis netted her another $90 million dollars. When she married Ashton, he was an up-and-comer and she had lots of lovely moola.

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Now, Ashton has made mucho money investing in over 40 tech companies like Skype, Foursquare and more, according to Celebrity Net Worth. He’s now making over $800K an episode for Two and a Half Men (there is no justive in the world) and earns millions for his Nikon commercials.

Even if Ashton never acts again, i(one can only hope) he’ll be solvent for many, many lifetimes! Is that why Demi’s going after him? Or is it that he cheated on her?

And was he really cheating on her? Or did the two have an “agreement” and suddenly Demi got angry about it? On a recent Piers Morgan tonight show, Chelsea Handler brought up a little something — an allegation of threesomes and an open marriage. “I don’t know them personally very well, but I think it’s pretty obvious that they probably had a lot of open marriage-type situations,” she told Morgan last Thursday. “I think they probably had a lot of good times with some other women,” she said, adding, “I mean, read between the lines.” Chelsea continued, “They probably had a lot of threesomes that led to twosomes without Demi and that leads to a divorce.”

Perhaps Demi thought that Ashton would never use his “free pass” — or perhaps Demis was upset not to be included in the fun and games. Either way, Meanie is sure Demi plans to get even. A source “close to Demi” told the Daily Mail, “She wants to punish him financially because of the way he has broken her heart. She is talking about going after a share of what he has earned since their marriage on the grounds that she contributed to much of what he has achieved. She is going to give him a bitter fight and, whether or not she wins, it will be an expensive lesson for him.”

With the pre-nup in place, Demi might have a long, uphill and eventually worthless lawsuit. Celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder told the Daily Mail, “There are very few grounds for overturning a pre-nuptial agreement,” he said. “The only people likely to win are the lawyers for the wife and the toyboy husband, who will collect huge legal fees.”

Kittens, not only do we learn valuable life lessons on getting even, learning that sharing is not caring, and the importance of a pre-nup, we have the perfect excuse to make lots and lots of popcorn!

Meanie thinks this divorce might become TruTv’s best and newest reality show! 


Mean Betty

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